Daily Life As Spiritual Exercise

Do You Compromise?

2011-07-07T10:56:00.001-04:00

In my formative years I had a mentor whose emphasis was on learning to do and say as you knew in your heart to do and say as opposed to conforming to or rebelling against the very real pressures of others or circumstance. The operative emotion at play here, he would say, is resentment. Resentment is powerfully hypnotic. Resent the pressure to conform (or react/rebel against it) and it will suck you out of your center faster than the speed of light and will not easily let you go. Caught up in your mind, you are now floundering around in darkness and separated from Wisdom. Whatever decision you make from this place will be wrong, if only in timing. But remain watchful of resentment, allow it and and any pressure to pass before deciding anything and then you will have clarity to know what to do or not do regardless of circumstance or what others may say or do. In this way you will see what is wise and be able to say yes or no with complete clarity and confidence.

My friend also use to illustrate a certain difference between people with the following story. Two boys are playing with a toy sailboat by a lakes edge. The breeze begins to blow the toy boats away from shore. Both boys reach for the little boats, one is stopped by a mysterious wordless knowing that says "reach no more" and pulls back, the other reaches too far, falls in and drowns. As kids, my younger sister and brother and I were part of a neighborhood "army" consisting of us and three neighbor kids about our age. We spent many a time venturing and exploring the inner harbor wharf's, abandoned buildings, wooded vacant lots, construction sites, etc. We had a blast during those years but sometimes there would come a "dangerous" moment like crossing over a 12" plank 10' above the ground or some such thing. Usually these were not a problem but occasionally I would get an inner "knowing" not to do a certain something and I would not. I would warn everyone but they wouldn't listen. Invariably it would be my brother who would be the one walking across the plank when it would break or slip and be the one to need stitches, or a bone repaired or whatever.

I have learned to trust that inner "knowing" when it arises. I no longer compromise with it. Some of the most painful lessons in my life have come precisely as a result of compromising. Whenever I need to make a decision, it is my habit to scan myself. If there is any unease I pull back and wait. When I am completely at peace with a potential option I am free to take it. More and more however, decisions are something that happen to me. For example, long story short, I need to move my business to a new location. Leases and losing $$ are at stake if I do not find something quick. I look at two potential options that I like. Both have pros and cons but are not perfect. I am pressured to make a move by circumstance but do not allow the pressure to dictate the move. In the end I am not at ease with either location. I email the owners and tell them absolutely straight how I Iove almost everything about their locations, and the deals they offered me, but just can not do it for reasons A, B and C. I feel the pressure of time breathing down my back but all I can do is allow it and wait to see what happens next. The owner of location "A" writes back and says he appreciates my direct honesty, wishes me well and "oh, by the way, there is a location I noticed over in such and such that you should look at. It would be perfect for you." I checked out his lead and bingo it is absolutely perfect in all ways, price, location, visibility, parking, and less than 8 mins from our new home. Couldn't have been any more perfect and all because I resisted the temptation to give into pressure and compromise with my gut. Now I can not take credit for the way things worked out. The best I can do is be willing to hold my ground and not compromise when under pressure and let the chips fall where they may. Life seems to work out pretty good this way.

What Choice Do We Have?

2011-03-14T15:15:00.003-04:00

We have no choice in the time of our birth or in the gender we will be. We have no choice in what family we are born into or the color of our eyes and hair. We have no choice in what language we will speak or the traditions we will follow, or the kinds of foods we will eat. We have no choice in our name, the religion of our birth, the values we will be taught, the education we will receive. We have no choice about the amount of love or hatred our parents will have for us, the approval and disapproval we will receive from our peers, or the right or wrong thoughts, ideas or beliefs conditioned into our head.

Before the time of understanding we have no choice in our loves and hates, or the relationships we will be attracted to. We have no choice about our angers and resentments, slaveries or compulsions. All in all we have no choice in the deeply flawed, worldly imposed "sin nature" that grows in us and becomes who we "think" we are.

We can choose from a menu or from a rack of shoes but we can not change the color of a single hair, or save ourselves from error or give salvation to ourselves. We can be "born again" but we can not give this gift to ourselves. The only real, truly free-will choice that we have is to be still and know the truth of our existence, to sit quietly for our daily bread of objectivity to self and allowing the Light of Reality to expose and dissolve our worldly conditioning, setting us free, gradually, to be who we really are, or not. This is the only truly meaningful choice we will ever make.

Paradise was lost when man fell into his mind, into knowledge, into thoughts and judgments of good and bad. Paradise is found when men give up "knowledge" and return to the place outside of his thinking mind where he was on the day he was born. Except ye become as little children again, ye can not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Accepting Reality

2011-03-13T15:33:00.003-04:00

I have found it extremely liberating to realize that God allows as He pleases, and for cosmic and eternal purposes I can not fathom. Not a single sparrow falls to the ground without His knowledge. Earthquakes, wars, murder and mayhem could not happen without His consent. If what is and what happens is OK with Him, so it should be with me. What looks to be unjust here, now is part of a grand plan that I have no way to comprehend. Everything happens for a reason. All things work toward the good for those that love Him. And of those who do not love Him? Who am I to question what whatever He allows to happen?

None of this means that we simply stand by and watch helplessly as another is harmed. If it is in our power to do something, we do it. Good as well as bad have a right to expression but if it is something beyond our control, we accept that too. Life unfolds and happens exactly as it will, acceptance or not, but it is so much better to emotionally accept reality and not resist it. Much of our suffering comes from resisting what is and what happens. But if we put up no emotional resistance to any circumstance, if we allow things to be as they are, we find and keep our Peace of Mind no matter what. We may even find Joy in the midst of seeming disaster because what seems like disaster may be just a foundation for something far better. We just can't know the meaning of everything, or how things will work out, therefore, we would be wise to not make judgements about things. What looks like good could turn out to be bad, what looks bad could turn out to me good. Who can know?

The destruction of the earth's surface and extinction of the dinosaurs and other life forms by meteor impact made the new earth ready for modern mankind. This world of ours, and all its structures and constructs, have already begun to dissolve and fall apart, with much destruction and death ahead, making way for the building of a New Earth, perhaps with Jesus as its Head. This is too frightful for most to contemplate but others rejoice about this, and perhaps with good reason. The final defeat of evil will be horrific but the mass destruction that awaits our entire civilization will lead to Heaven on earth. Jesus said "I leave you peace, my peace I give you" giving us the means to accept whatever happens, whatever comes with grace and wisdom. Krishnamurti once said "Do you want to know my secret? This is my secret. I don't mind what happens." Words to live by.

The End Of The World

2011-03-11T14:25:00.003-05:00

The Creative Force behind the manifest world is a Unifying Principle. It permeates and gives life to all matter. Apart from Creative Force there is no life. It is the Intelligence behind the swirling atoms, the building blocks of all things material. It is the one shared attribute that gives common beingness to all things. It is the Source that interconnects and makes all things one at the deepest core.

Creative Force is the Master to which all things must obey. A tree or planet can not be other than a tree or a planet. These must obey the Creative Impulse to be exactly as they are created to be. There is no choice. In all of creation only man can be found in a state of disobedience, though not by choice, but by circumstance.

The world of man is ruled by the spirit of the world. The spirit of the world, which inhabits mans mind, is expressed outward into the world through his behavior and works. The spirit of the world stands in opposition to the Creative Impulse. Man, who should be unified with Creative Force lives in duality. Separated from his Root, he is forced to live in separation, unhappy and in deep anxiety. The pain of his separation causes him to search for meaning, sometimes in the right place, often in the wrong.

An attribute of Creative Force is Still Awareness absent the movement of thought. It is observed in a newly born child. Without word or thought the child looks out from behind his eyes, aware, searching, wondering, with a mind yet untouched by thought, word, idea, belief or ideology. But this virginal state does not last too long. It is soon pressed upon, indoctrinated with the thoughts of the egoic collective the child is born into. The egoic mind, displacing Still Awareness, grows to become a collection of culturally imprinted thoughts and beliefs. A seemingly separate, alone, insecure false self comes to stand in the place where Awareness once was.

The shakiness of this false identity, born as it is of the egoic collective, then learns to seek approval of its “parent”. Even if it rebels, it remains identified with the community by its opposition, by its contrast to it. Conformity or rebellion both equally reinforce egoic identity.

Mainly the collective ego is made up of communities of individual egos with similar thoughts and belief systems. The communities are then divided by geographical, national, state, cultural or other lines. The clearly defined divisions become an outward representation of the division and separation from the One Unifying Force.

Each community is governed by self-preservation instinct, and a kill or be killed mind-set. It is a deep and deadly hypnosis. Each man feeling separate and alone in the world, seeking identification from his community in either conformity or rebellion to it. Yet man, in reality, is no more who his community tells him he is than a tree is a whale. In fact, a tree, a whale or any other created thing, can only be what they were created to be, fully and completely. Man alone comes into the world as he should be but is quickly taken over by the spirit of the world, by the pressure of the collective mind-think and belief system, and thus is transmuted into that which he was never meant to be. The defective collective ego then forms civilization. Nations and organizations reflect all of the basic dysfunctions of mankind living disassociated with his Root.

The spirit of the world is the backbone of our collective, egoic based civilization. The religious, political and economic power structures of the world, well-meaning as some might have been, are empty and flavorless at best, and heartless, oppressive monolithes at worst. Societies are crumbling pyramids of vain glory, rusting infrastructures of mass mind-think, elaborate though dysfunctional constructs destined to crumble and fall apart as all that is not Eternal does. Only still awareness does not pass away, but lives on eternally. All things material will die but only man can be grafted into the Eternal.

The Christian bible teaches that there will be a New Earth, a reign on Earth of Good where death nor moth nor rust will have a place. It teaches that this New Earth will come only when the old earth, in all its egoic forms and structures pass away. It should not be a surprise then that we watch the world as we know it sink evermore into dissolution and begin to crumble before our eyes. All that we thought stable and permanent, Our countries, our money, our homes, our ideals and beliefs are all dissolving like the thoughts that created them.

The spirit of the world, and all its impermanent structures must, of necessity, crumble and fall before the new and eternal can arise. The mind of man, ruled by the spirit of this world, must finally be displaced with Eternal Reality. The good news is that that Eternal Reality is awaiting all who wish to drop their cultural conditioning, with all its thoughts and belief systems, with its sense false of a separate self and return, as a child, to the One Source of all, to the Still Awareness he was born with and lost to egoic culture.

Happy As A Dog

2011-02-12T12:12:00.004-05:00

Funny how we accept things as true just because its on the News without knowing for ourselves the truth of the thing. Its not easy to remain objective when all the papers and TV news shows are bombarding us with only one side of the story. Looked what they've done to others. True enough though, where there is smoke there is usually fire, but then again, there was a lot of smoke around some of the tallest, brightest figures to walk this earth. The earth tends to eat those that do not bow down to it.

I've been guilty of participating in such mass prejudice many times in my earlier life. I am better now at knowing what I don't know...better at withholding judgment until I have all the facts for myself. But, in this case, I would say that I was fortunate to not know that Rajneesh changed his name to Osho otherwise I would have never discovered the remarkable body of work about the meditative life this man left behind.

His words, on their own, taken completely objectively, completely unprejudiced, looked at without any judgement based upon history or visuals, contain gem after gem of remarkable truth about the human condition and the way out of it.

I really don't know if I would have picked up a book with the authors name being Rajneesh. There are only books by the name Osho so I can not say for sure if I would have looked at the name with fresh eyes of today, of eyes only concerned with the present moment instead of eyes tainted with yesterdays headlines and sound bites.

I was watching Eckhart Tolle and Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer, have a video conversation the other day. They talked about how dogs by nature only live in the moment and that for the dog there is only unconditional forgiveness of its leader. If you forget to let them out, or forget to feed them, or lose your patience and yell at them, they do not hold a grudge but instantly forgive you and move on. They talked about how well balanced dogs have eyes that only see in the present moment, completely forgetful of anything past or of any anticipation of the future (except when you ask them if they want to go for a walk :-) They talked about how much love and forgiveness a creature such as a dog has and can teach us.

Tolle also mentioned that he has observed many a Zen Master in his life, and most of them were cats. Last night my wife and I were watching Americas Funniest Videos. It showed a segment where cats got themselves into a jam...sliding off a roof, getting caught in mini-blinds, trying to squeeze through small holes and getting stuck etc etc. As we watched I told my wife to watch what a cat does, even after a long fall off an icy roof to a hard landing on the ground. It is instantly up on its feet and off to the next thing without missing a beat. The situation is over the moment it is over. That is what Zen Masters teach. That is what meditation does for us. You can see it in a certain radio counselor I know. I was always amazed how he can have these gut wrenching, emotional or ecstatically profound phone calls where he really helped a person wake-up and then hang up and instantly be on to the next thing without perseverating in the least. That is how life should be...gracefully moving from one moment to the the next without leaving or taking anything from the last moment into the new one.

The point of all this I guess is just pointing out that the goal of meditation is to live so wholly, so presently in the now that there is no time or need to remember anything...whether another's past or the last moment. There is only Now and it is sufficient and utterly fulfilling unto itself. In a single moment the whole Universe is changed and no longer what it was the previous moment, everything moved to a new position, it is not what it once was, it is a new situation and different from what it was the previous moment, who can argue that? Clinging to yesterday we get left behind and become as dead as yesterday. But let it all go, become like the well balanced dog Cesar Millan speaks of, live only for the moment and become just as happy and carefree as the dog. So come now, free yourself of the past, live for the moment only and let your tails wag freely!

The Little Foxes That Spoil The Vineyard

2011-01-07T09:54:00.001-05:00

Big angers or little irritations, which are most destructive? Which are more important to deal with?

They are all destructive but it is the little ones that are hardest to see. Solomon in "Song of Songs" exhorts us to "catch the little foxes, as it is the little foxes that spoil the vineyard". Solomon is hinting that it is the littlest ones that do the greatest damage because they are the hardest to see. A large enemy is less a problem because it is easier to see...to hear them. Who could miss a moose trampling through the woods, snapping tree limbs with loud cracks with his antlers as he goes? A moose would have hard time sneaking up on anything. But a fox can easily sneak through the brush with no one even knowing he was there. It would take especially vigilant and well trained ears to perceive the approach of a little fox.

Our mind, of course, is the vineyard. However, we can in no way see an enemy approach, let alone a little fox, unless we are very skilled at being vigilant. Skills that are honed with training and constant practice. In fact, if we are to become a successful vineyard keeper we learn to become so watchful that we can detect and stop the enemy coming long before they get into the vineyard and have a chance to steal a single grape.

The enemy can be large or small but unless we remain on our watch we can not hope to protect our vineyard. Only when we are on our post watching faithfully can we perceive an enemy approaching. If we are a sleep or away from our post our vineyard is open to being damaged or destroyed by an enemy. How can a sleeping man defend against an approaching enemy? He only knows the enemy has arrived when the enemy has already done its damage and it is too late.

Whether a big or small enemy it is our watchfulness that is the first line of defense of our vineyard. Practice and experience is our second line of defense. If we can not spot the big enemies coming, the little ones will be even harder to see. Therefore, we train ourselves first and foremost to be vigilant watchers of the vineyard. At first we may fail to see or hear the enemy approach. We may lose a battle or two, but with time and experience we learn to perceive the enemy, big or small, approaching from a long way off. In time we use what we come to know to go out and meet the enemy on his turf, long before me enters our vineyard. In this way we defeat or drive the enemy away and keep our vineyard safe and unspoiled.

The enemy, then, is not really the primary problem. There will always be enemies to deal with. The real problem is whether we are vigilant or not. The solution to our problem then lay in training ourselves in early detection of all our enemies, big or small. In this way, it is our skilled watchfulness that defends and protects our vineyard. Without watchfulness, we can not hope to preempt a sneak attack. Without watchfulness, our vineyard will be overtaken time and again until there is nothing left for an enemy to take. For this reason, if we wish to produce a bountiful harvest, we must take up our post as diligent watchers, as perceptive defenders of our vineyard, day by day, never tiring, never faltering, never sleeping on the job.

Knowledge and Understanding

2011-01-06T10:13:00.003-05:00

When you hear from a person or a book that bees can sting, this is knowledge. When you see someone get stung, or you yourself are stung and experience first hand that stings are indeed painful, that is understanding.

When you hear from a person or book that unless you learn to swim you might drown, this is knowledge. When you fall into the water and begin to struggle and swallow water and fight for air, this is understanding.

When you hear that it is better to eat than not eat. This is knowledge. When you experience an empty belly and hunger pangs, this is undertstanding.

When you are told that it is better to not misuse your partner for your own pleasure, this is knowledge. When you suffer hell in your relationship for treating your partner selfishly or improperly, this is understanding.

When you are told that alcohol or drugs can ruin your life or even kill you, this is knowledge. When you lose your family, health and vitality because of these, this is understanding.

When you hear that fire can burn if you put your hand into it, this is knowledge. When you see that you neighbor burned badly and died in a fire, this is understanding.

When you hear that meditation can become the way to freedom and peace of mind, this is knoweldge. When you practice the meditation, and experience the accumulation of freedom and peace of mind, this is understanding.

Knowledge comes from outside yourself. Understanding comes from within. Knowledge is just information, however lofty it may be, Understanding is knowledge experienced first hand.

Anyone can learn to build a bridge from a book found at the library, or even learn the techniques for heart repair surgury. Understanding is having built the bridge or repaired a heart.

Knowledge is a carbon copy of another's understanding. Understanding is original to the person experiencing it. Knowledge is dry, dead words with no life behind them. They are nothing but history, an ancient vessel of anothers undertanding left behind empty and hollow. Undertsanding is the content of the vessel experienced as if you were the very first person to discover it.

Be Still and Know

2011-01-05T15:28:00.002-05:00

"Stillness is often sent into a whirlwind through those small irritations met and participated in."

Agreed, but even this must be seen first hand. If the understanding of what you speak of is not born of seeing it personally and directly as an effect on you, your life, your family, then it is only an intellectual exercise, learned or acquired from the experience of others and leads us nowhere at all. With only intellectual knowledge and lack of personal understanding we can't hope for repentance or renewal. We can not hope to be healed of our deep flaws.

It is OK to read and learn from the experience of others. It is good to have an example of one who has found the way through. Another's example can point to the way, of course, but only when we come to know a thing for ourselves does it become our own understanding and lead us to wish to drop bad behavior and allow Grace to do Its work upon us.

Only when you can see a destructive fire can you put it out. Only when you personally know about its existence can you hope to do anything about it. As long as the fire hides behind a wall its destructive power remains invisible to you. Your house may be burning down around you but you will be unconscious of it until it is too late. You will probably be trapped and burned up too.

That is why it is said to be still as the first step, before anything else, then you will come to know what you need to know. Then you will have power to do what must be done. Practice, practice, practice stillness, every free moment that you can and watch as your ability to see through walls arises, watch as your power to see through the dark veils of your mind grows. Watch to see the thoughts and emotions that enslave and direct you. That which is hidden can not be dealt with. Only when we bring the light to the darkness can we see what is hidden and hope to find our way free.

The way to freedom begins with one basic step, learning to sit quietly, watching our mind, bringing the light of awareness to what is in our mind. Stillness then leads to seeing and understanding that which operates in the darkness of our minds. How so? Because when we learn to live in the present moment, we come to dwell where God is, where Power, Understanding and Light is. He becomes available to us...or rather, we become available to Him.

Only when in the present moment are we open to God's power to heal and renew. God does dwell in the future or the past. He is, not was or will be. He is. God is real and there is nothing unreal about Him. Only the human mind can go to the past or future, which are only illusions, false dreams, unreality. How can we be here and there at the same time? How can we be in our chair this moment and on a date next week or reliving yesterday at the same time? We can not be. Past and future are phantoms of the mind, illusions that seem oh so real, but are illusions now the less. How can we be here and in the future or the past at the same time? It is impossible. Just a trick of the mind.

When we are busy of mind, thinking about the past or future, we are in the dark, cut off from Reality, cut-off from His power to heal. That is why we are told to first be still, to come to the present and then once we begin to learn to do just that, we will gradually be given to know everything we need to know to wake from our delusions, to wake from our sleep, to see and know that which enslave us, to find freedom and salvation from all that is false.

Be still, we are told, and come know the Truth. It does not say know the Truth and then be still. That is intellect and the way of false teachings. That is filling your head with dry, memorized, parroted words. Be still, then know, that is the way of Understanding, Intuition and Freedom. Be still and know the truth of this first hand.

The Battle Within

2011-01-04T11:24:00.001-05:00

The battle within has little to do with us, but it is a battle none the less. We are mainly helpless to watch, to observe it from the sidelines so to speak, assuming that is, that we are committed to sitting still long enough to perceive it.

The battle within is between consciousness of where we are and what we are doing and forgetfulness of the fullness of the moment and all that it holds. We are either in the now moment or we are on vacation from reality.

A painter can paint with complete awareness of what he is doing or he can actually forget that he is breathing, that his hand holds the brush, that he is in the studio painting. He can make each stroke with a deliberateness, with a full sense of the aliveness of his hand, of how the wooden handle feels as he holds it, of how the paint smells in his nostrils, of how it glides onto the canvass, of how the colors blend and of the texture it creates, or...he can do it roboticly, absentmindedly, even while he dreams of being elsewhere. Perhaps dreaming of being on a far away beach, or dreaming of great fame.

Most of us are on permanent vacation from the Present Moment. We live in a wakeful dream, living anywhere and everywhere but in the here and now. It is our personal Matrix from which we must wake or die in our sleep.

Of ourselves we can do nothing about our salvation from the dream world. We can not give ourselves the ability to live fully in the Moment. The only thing we can do of ourselves is to commit to regular sitting still, which accumulates in ability to remain in the Present, and out of the dream world more and more. But nobody, not even God Himself, can give us the comittment to do it.

And yes, of course, we must give up our irritations and negative emotions. But that is not the goal. It is not the first thing. Seek first the Kingdom of Stillness, and all other things, including the grace to give up resentment and anger, will be added unto us. We make a big mistake when we think about putting anything else first. Find within the faith to sit daily, at least once, no matter what, no matter how worthless or hopeless it at first seems, and by your perseverance and comittment, you will be changed, little by little, day by day, by the renewing of your mind from within.

Meditation...Too Simple For Words?

2011-01-02T17:23:00.004-05:00

Meditation is being fully present wherever you are. As I sat in my living room this morning I closed my eyes and became aware of my hands, aware of the refrigerator humming, aware of the furnace churning in the basement, aware of the the hot air blowing quietly through the air ducts into the room, aware of my breathing, of my finger tips touching each other, aware of my very presence in the room. I became aware of the blue-jays crying in the yard and became aware of a bird singing in the yard that I hadn't heard since early fall.

"Perhaps the 50 degree weather fooled the birds into thinking it was spring" I thought. Then I was thinking about my shop, paying the rent, a book I want to get, my health, etc and I completely forgot about where I was, forgot about being in my living room. But then, all of a sudden, I realized that I had forgotten where I was, and became aware again of my being in the room, heard again the sounds of the room and the house, heard again the songs of the birds, the car driving up the road. I felt again my hands touching each other and felt again my chest drawing rhythmic breaths. I was pulled out of my thoughts and brought back to reality, to where I was and what was happening in and around me. This is the continuous battle that is waged moment by moment, day by day. Being where I am, being pulled to where I am not, and coming back to where I am.

How To Be Free of the Ego

2009-12-22T11:20:00.005-05:00

"To become free of the ego is not really a big job but a very small one.

All you need to do is be aware of your thoughts and emotions - as they happen.

This is not really a 'doing' but an alert 'seeing'.

In that sense, it is true that there is nothing you can do to become free of the ego.

When that shift happens, which is the shift from thinking to awareness, an intelligence far greater than the ego's cleverness begins to operate in your life.

Emotions and even thoughts become depersonalized through awareness.

Their impersonal nature is recognized.

There is no longer a self in them.

They are just human emotions, human thoughts.

Your entire personal history, which is ultimately no more than a story, a bundle of thoughts and emotions, becomes of secondary importance and no longer occupies the forefront of your consciousness.

It no longer forms the basis for your sense of identity.

You are the light of Presence, the awareness that is prior to and deeper than any thoughts and emotions."

From "A New Earth" by E. Tolle

Needless Suffering & Freedom From Want

2009-11-03T07:07:00.008-05:00

One of the Buddha’s noble truths address the connection between suffering and craving. It is called a noble truth because it points out one of the major reasons for suffering. Frustration, irritation, resentment and crime are some of the manifestations of wanting what you do not have. Whether it is peace we are craving for, or perhaps our neighbors wife, we will be in a state of anxiety and unhappiness just as long as we hold on to the craving. And even if we do somehow get what we want, it will not last long, leaving us once again unhappy and without peace, because that which is material has a birth and a death. Even romantic love does not last forever.

Last Saturday my wife and I loaded up the jeep to make a run to our storage unit. It was getting close to 12:00pm and I was thinking that the local restaurant we like would be closing at 1:00pm. I was hoping to have one of their special omelets. In fact I was really looking forward to it. But as we finally loaded up the Jeep my wife said “I have to use the restroom…I’ll be out in a minute” I just then began to feel the need to hurry even as I sat in the Jeep and waited as 1 minute turned to 3, then to 5 and then 7. I watched a growing frustration and anxiety rise within me. As I looked at it I wondered what it was all about. A part of me wanted to run into the house and see what was taking my wife so long, while another part of me was fascinated by the internal spectacle, looking to see what was really going on here.

What I saw was this. I had a want…for a special omelet, and I began to feel like I would be denied this special treat as I watched time slip by and lead up to what I thought was the 1pm closing time. I knew we needed to go unload the jeep at the storage unit before we could eat and the pressure to move quickly created in me a sense of urgency, as well as a growing frustration because my wife seemed to be taking her good ole time. I observed a growing anxiety due to the idea that I might not get what I craved for.

I then saw that it was my want…my craving, that was creating the anxiety. I was feeling frustration, unhappiness and urgency. I saw that I was close to “sharing” this suffering with my wife as I was tempted to rush into the house to find out “just why the hell she was taking so damn long". But then I took a deep breath and let it out slowly and centered myself. I could see that the root issue here was my want, my desire, my craving for a silly omelet and that all I had to do to regain my peace was to relinquish the want. Which is precisely what I did.

I let it be OK not to get an omelet. My frustration and anxiety instantly vanished and I became still and at peace once more. The Buddha’s words about the connection between suffering and want or craving came alive as I realized the principle at work within me.

In the end, where it at first seemed that my wife was dragging her feet (innocently, of course) and working (unknowingly) toward denying me my “want” causing me frustration, what she really did was become the opportunity for me to realize deeply the connection between want and suffering, which immediately set me free from the anxiety and frustration. "You shall know the Truth, and the Truth will make you free"

As it turned out, there would be plenty of time to have that special omelet I had wanted so much. I would come realize that my mind had also told me an untrue story that had started this whole episode. The restaurant did not close at 1pm as my mind told me it did but rather at 8pm so there had always been plenty of time to eat. I got my omelet after all. But it did not taste as good as the realization of the connection between suffering and want, nor taste as sweet as the freedom and peace relinquishing want can bring. There is no comparison.

Another Quote Of Note

2009-10-20T06:46:00.002-04:00

"Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" — and find that there is no death." - E. Tolle

A Quote Of Note

2009-10-20T06:21:00.004-04:00

"So the single most vital step on your journey toward enlightenment is this: learn to disidentify from your mind. Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, the light of your consciousness grows stronger. One day you may catch yourself smiling at the voice in your head, as you would smile at the antics of a child. This means that you no longer take the content of your mind all that seriously, as your sense of self does not depend on it." -E. Tolle

Paradise Lost and Found

2009-10-13T07:48:00.006-04:00

Inspired by my friend "C".

We can neither help nor change whatever emotions that we feel, negative ones or otherwise. What we CAN do is learn to not struggle against them. We can learn not to resent our resentment, or hate our hate, or put up resistance of any kind to ugly thoughts and/or feelings in the same way that we accept a limb that has fallen alseep or the pang of a hungry belly. They are to be looked at as warning signs and nothing more. These things are things that will happen for a variety of reasons and are part and parcel of our total conditioning...and, actually, even more than our conditioning. It goes way beyond your mother and father, your culture and experiences, although your resentment towards cruelty has "fixed" and intensified those feelings for sure.

Our feelings of abandonment are actually rooted in our loss of connection to God and the picking up of a false and very shaky identity made up of our earthly history. When we fall from the "awareness without thought" state that we had as a new born baby into the "thinking self" of our mind, into the self formed by our culture and experiences (good and bad), we then live apart from God and apart from our true purpose. Separation from God puts the ego into a state of constant anxiety and inherent unhappiness. The ego then searches unsuccessfully all of life for validation, assurance and reassurance from the world...from people, places and things...until it finds salvation, because nothing material will ever permanently fill our spiritual void

Seeking salvation (love and acceptance) from the material world can never really work, and in the end always leaves us once again empty and alone because we are always looking for the wrong thing. Instead of seeking for the life the we lost as a child, the life of pure awareness, the life we had before the thought world developed in our mind, accompanied by all the negative emotions in our breast, we foolishly keep looking for fulfillment for our wrong self. And again, because the wrong self is not the real Self, God is gracious enough to let us suffer until we figure out the puzzle. Pain is always an indication of going in the wrong direction.

There is a light pattern inside your closed eyelids. Whenever pain or emotional distress arises, go to this place. Let the Light patterns emerge through whatever emotional distress your are experiencing. Go to this place often and simply gaze quietly upon the Light. There is a peace there. Do not speak to or struggle with thoughts, do not resist what you may feel. Just keep coming back to gazing at the Light patterns. It with help you to slowly separate the real you from the false you, and it will diminish the intensity of your distress. It is far more important to learn to separate from the thoughts and feeling by returning again and again to the Light patterns than it is to understanding why the thoughts and feeling are there, or how they originated. Make it your goal to hug the Light behind your eyelids as much as you can...especially when you first wake up, and most especially whenever you under attack by your own mind. It WILL hug you back...it WILL love you, and lead you to permanent peace.

"Of Yourself You Can Do Nothing"

2009-10-06T06:31:00.006-04:00

One of the more interesting aspects of emotional healing is that most healing occurs precisely to the degree that we do absolutely nothing about our emotional problems. There is a saying somewhere in the bible that reads"of yourselves you can do nothing, not even change one hair from black to white" or something pretty close to that. It points to the reality that when it comes to our conditioning and negative emotions, no amount of struggle or effort can change them. We may succeed in anesthetizing or suppressing them, but the conditioning and its negative emotions do not go away by any act of self will. They are only forced to live and function from the deeper aspects of our sub-consciouness, giving us the illusion that they are gone when they are not. No, in order to be healed from our conditioning and all negative emotion we must learn to deal with them in a very precise way...a way in which we are required to do nothing about them in a very special way.

I will illustrate just what this "way" is by way of personal example. When I was very young, about 2 or 3 years old, I went to my mother, who was sitting with a fussing sibling, and asked for a drink of water. She did not hear me the first time as she was distracted by the fussing baby in her arms. I asked again and she snapped at me "What is it you want!!" Her sharp, impatient words both shocked and upset me. I wanted a drink of water but now instead I ran to the hallway steps where I sat crying out of a sense of abandonment and aloneness. With hands over my face I cried aloud "Nobody loves me, nobody loves me" and I was right. In that moment there had been no love in my mother for me and I felt it acutely.

But after a while my mother appeared on the hall steps and hugged me and told me that "of course I love you". My first thought was something like "wow. so whenever I cry "nobody loves me" she would come and hug me. So after she left me alone on the steps again, I tested the theory by again crying "nobody loves me...nobody loves me" but this time she didn't come and I got upset and angry and once again felt abandoned and alone, only this time I was really left alone with the feelings. And this is how I was first conditioned to look for love outside myself and to feel rejected and abandoned whenever to was witheld or denied me. Later in life it could become so painful that it could put me in bed for hours or days. Such was the strength of this "monster" negative emotion.

Over the years this "feeling" would arise and cause me to "raise hell" in a number of relationships. It became to root of fear and jealousy in my more interpersonal relationships. It eventually destroyed them but as I saw that this was the case I would learn to manage the feelings by a combination of anesthesia and suppression. I also learned to not get so close to another that they could trigger such feelings in me. Soon it would be as if those feelings were gone forever. But were they?

I was absolutely single for about 5 years before I was married and had experienced a liberation and freedom from the need to be in a relationship. I traveled far and wide and would spend great deals of time alone and in peace. I came to believe that I had been freed from things that previously ensnared me...things like, anger, emotional pain, jealousy and feelings of rejection. So when it came time to marry I thought I was ready.

Not too long into my marriage, during some little argument with my wife, I was surprised to see an ancient but familiar feeling arise, the one that feels abandonment, the sense that "nobody love me" and feels rejected by the impatience and upset of someone close to me. It took me by surprise when it appeared because it had been gone for such a long time But because I have been practicing mind-watching for long time now I was able to observe this long lost feeling within as it arose from hiding and I could also clearly see the thoughts that feeling gave rise to. Thoughts that suggested such things as "she doesn't love you, maybe you should just leave her now, that'll show her, etc, etc". And although I personally was not in agreement with any of these thoughts I could see how they fed into the negative feeling and the feeling into the thoughts intensifying both. I could see clearly how this duo once controlled me and caused me to act out of them doing no one any good. I was embarrassed by their sudden appearance, yet fascinated to see clearly how they worked within me.

I knew enough to just watch them objectively and let them be, neither indulging them nor rejecting them, quietly allowing them to be there, knowing there was nothing I could do about it anyway. We can not control how we feel, but we can learn to not react to what we feel. And so it would be a few more time after this, this pattern of arguing, feeling rejected, arising thoughts trying to suck me in, becoming objective to them, allowing them to be there and watching objectively until they disappearred.

Each time it happened and I quietly acknowledged it was there, the feeling and thoughts grew weaker and weaker until they are now gone completely. They simply no longer arise under conditions they once did. They are literally gone. I am writing today to testify that it is absolutely possible to watch problems out of existence. It all begins with not putting up emotional resistance to things inside or outside of us, but especially to the things we see within us. Forebear to struggle against your problems and you too will experience the healing power of doing nothing properly.

Bee-having

2009-09-09T07:06:00.005-04:00

A bee at take-off from a beautiful thistle. You can just make out his high speed wings at work. Sept 7, 2009

Mind Illusions vs Reality

2009-08-18T19:42:00.013-04:00

One day I was waiting inside a public men's room to use the single bathroom stall. I could see and hear by the shuffling of feet showing under the stall that it was occupied by two full grown people, but I could also see the the lower portion of a white cane with a large red band near the bottom. I realized that one of the persons in the stall must be at least partially blind and the second person probably was there to assist the handicapped one. After a long while they finally flushed the toilet and shuffled out of the stall and left the men's room.

Finally it was my long awaited turn but when I entered the stall I noticed the seat rim was all wet as if someone had very bad aim and then didn't clean it up. I realized that the blind person had a good excuse but what of the companion? Was he blind too? Inconsiderate and thoughtless? or just plain rude? Whatever the problem was I had to clean up "their" mess before I could take care of my business. I scanned my self for any active resentment or anger, didn't see any but wondered just how someone could be so blind (pardon the pun) as to not see what a mess they were leaving behind for the next person?

Long story short...when I had completed my task and flushed the toilet, I was surprised to discover that at the very end of the flushing process the water pressure was such that the water suddenly jetted out of the bowl splashing on the seat and making a wet mess...an identical mess to the one I found when I entered the stall. Suddenly I could see what I didn't see before. That these men were probably innocent all along. I could see how someone could flush and turn away and miss seeing the final "splash" of water coming out of the bowl onto the seat. I also saw how easily my mind began to make up stories about those "men". The one saving grace is that I usually know that I do not know the whole story about what had happened. and therefore reserve anger or resentful judgement. But in that moment I saw anew just how quickly the mind can create scenarios that can be taken as gospel when the truth is something completely different.

This little illustration points out how the egoic mind likes to think it knows...is certain of a thing when in fact it does not know and does not know that there are other possibilities. It points out how easily the mind can assume...judge before it has all the facts, and shows that mental judgements, the kind of judgements we make daily can become the basis of our own injustice against others. It shows how the mind unmodified by Enlightened Reason can easily accuse an innocent party wrongly. Showing too how violence and wars are easily taken up by a serious short-sightedness. Indeed, until mankind learns to step out of the mind and function from the stillness outside of thought, where Reality and Reason live, where Wisdom, Grace and Power live, wars, violence, conflict and strife of all kind will continue to be the legacy of humanity.

The Battle Within

2009-08-12T08:47:00.012-04:00

True meditation will never become a habit. The ego is uniformly and utterly opposed to its own extermination. Like a vampire to sunlight, the ego will never voluntarily sit quietly in the Light of Reality. To do so means its own demise, and as far as the ego is concerned, it will damn well die on its own terms, stubbornly clinging to the idea that it is right in its wrong even as it falls apart at the grave...but by then of course, it is too late.

Meditation...or the practice of mindfulness is not, for the most part, an exciting experience. Indeed, to the ego there is nothing so boring...so distasteful than sitting still. The ego believes, and would have us believe, that there is nothing going on when we sit still. But there is far more going on than the ego would have us believe.

When we sit still properly it becomes possible to see a very subtle, but very real life and death battle that goes on in our mind. We observe that when we sit in a room, aware of our bodies, of our heart beat, our breath, our surroundings (the refrigerator humming, the cars driving by, the birds singing, etc) we also find that we soon forget to be aware of the present moment. We find that we have become caught up in day-dreams or thoughts about yesterday or what is to come and such. We find that our attention is in the past or the future but not in the present moment where we are. Yet we find too that while in the midst of being lost in thought something within us reminds us to come back once again to the present moment, to our room, to Reality.

The simple "watching" of this battle between awareness of the present moment and being lost in thought is important. It is vital if we are to grow in ability to remove our Selves from the dark thoughts and negative feelings within that threaten to overwhelm us and drive us to conflict and despair. Slowly but surely the more we practice the exercise the more awareness of the present developes, and the less able the mind can draw our attention away. The present moment, we soon find, grows to becomes our refuge and safe harbor from all mental assault. We grow to trust it and it nourishes us back with growing calm and peace of mind.

By practising this exercise we grow in ability to separate our Truest Self from our dark emotions and negative thoughts. This simple, passive "watching" of ourselves becomes then "the working out of our salvation" and the vehicle by which we find growing freedom from all negativity and gradual rebirth into peace, joy and happiness.

Tormentors Within and Without

2009-08-11T08:13:00.008-04:00

There are tormentors without and there are tormentors within, but until we learn to deal perfectly with the tormentors without we may never have the opportunity to see, let alone overcome the tormentors within us.

The process of salvation/regeneration/new birth begins with learning to forgive all of our external "tormentors" in the moment, of learning to accept "what is" without negative resistance, because we have come to see that all of our problems have been the result of not dealing properly with problems and problem people.

As children we didn't know any better...we reacted with negative emotion to impatience, cruelty and pressure and so became sensitized and conditioned by them. We either expresssed reflexively...or repressed emotionally, the impatience, cruelty and pressures of the world around us, and they got inside us and grew up in us so that we became a reflection of the impatience, cruelty and pressure, doing unto others as was done to us.

Therfore, whether expressing or repressing the external impatience, cruelty and pressures of the world, it formed a "self" we should never have been. This is a the root of all our strife and conflict within and without. So we learn that the first part of our recovery is to stop the outside world from gettting in anymore. We do this by learning to extend forgiveness on the spot, by accepting "what is" without negative resistance and learning, as Krisnamurti once said "not minding what happens". This alone is how we learn to stop the external world from getting under our skin any longer. But this is not the end of our recovery. There is still the tormentor inside us that must be dealt with in the same patient, forgiving and accepting manner we deal with outside tormentors.

The tormentor within is the extension of all the tormentors without that we did not know how to deal with properly from childhood until the day that we do deal with them porperly. The internal tormentor is the task master in our mind driving us headlong unto death and disease, conflcit and strife. It is the "voice" in the head that we have come to see as "us" but is not us at all but is rather the cumulative "intelligence" of all the external tormentors who got inside us by our negative reactions to them.

But the good news is that once we have stopped the outside world from getting inside us...once we learn how to control our emotions so that our emotions come under our own control and external things can no longer upset or control us, we are then free to put our attention within, and discover and uncover the many layers of our imposed conditioning...the thought processes, the imposed beliefs, the driving guilts, fears and anxieties all the way back to our first reaction and to ultimate freedom and new life.

When we learn to go through experiences and not let exprieences go through us by dropping resentment and resistance to what is, we will be well on our way to a whole new way of life and rebirth.

What Does Pride Look Like?

2009-08-11T08:09:00.003-04:00

If we all have pride, and if we are all instructed to lay down the prideful life, then we must, at some point, be able to see it, to recognize it at work within us, in order to know what to lay down. We must, at some point, be able to point to it and say "ah, there is my pride...this is what is looks/sounds like...and this is how it functions within me. Now I know what I must lay down"

The Joys of Nature

2009-07-22T06:51:00.006-04:00

One of the joys of getting married to my wife this year is that I have had to relocate from the east coast where beach and the sea-shore were part of my everyday experience. Now I am in the mountains of the Upper Valley where New Hampshire and Vermont meet and the rivers Connecticut and White meander. What I am discovering up here are the joys of this particular aspects of nature in ways I had not previously fully experienced.

My wife loves nature...especially the wild, edible things that grow here this time of year. I have enjoyed seeing her child-like excitement at finding, eating and sharing wild growing raspberries. I have to agree that they are delicious. (Blackberries are coming soon). We have also been collecting herbs in the wild like St. John's Wort, Yarrow and Goldenrod (they are in bloom just now) to make our own herbal medicines. We are also growing many of our own herbs, medicinal and culinary, as well as vegetables, in our garden. Have you ever had freshly parboiled peas in a salad? What a delight.

Last weekend we went on a little expedition to identify wildflowers. Of all the wonders in the world, there is to me, one thing that continues to amaze me...the magical fragrance of a simple flower. How on earth does a hint of heaven come through these little gifts of God? I am always awed.

PTSD - Is There A Way Out?

2009-07-15T09:17:00.007-04:00

In doing a bit of research into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD as they call it, I came across an interesting short description that described PTSD as "re-experiencing a traumatic event as though it were just happening". It seems that a negative, emotional reaction based on some kind of shocking or otherwise disturbing event can be retained and relived within the mind over and over again. So the question arises, just what is the mechanism that keeps replaying the past in the head of someone long after the original event is over? What causes the past event to become so deeply lodged in the mind that it prevents the mind from being free to experience a fresh and clean present untainted by the past? This also begs the question of why is it that two people can experience that same exact circumstance and one be free of it the moment the experience is over while the other becomes deeply "imprinted" with the experience, and is seemingly doomed to carry it forward at the cost of a free and clear mind in the present moment?

Most people are not aware of the ceaseless chatter within. Most human beings follow the "voice-speak" in their mind unconsciously, taking from it direction and guidance, for good or for bad. There is, to some, an obvious voice of bad..."steal that $10 bill from your grandmothers dresser" it might say but, for most, such "suggestions" are easily dismissed as obviously wrong. But there is also a voice of seemingly "good" in the head. It seems like a conscience, guiding us with words that are apparently "right" and "truthful" but it is, indeed, a false conscience. It is far easier to "hear" the voice of the devil on your left shoulder, but it is quite another to recognise the equally imposterous voice of the good "angel" on the right shoulder. Both are imposers because both are nothing but thought, and thought, mainly is the substance of the intellect...of the ego. True conscience, Intuition, is not a voice that speaks into your mind. True Conscience is a knowing, a realization, a wordless understanding that imparts meaning and understanding in a given moment. Even if it knowing that you don't know or understand. It is a Small Voice, and it's unspoken language being understood only when we are still and detached from the "thought-stream" in our head.

There are bright souls who are acutely aware of what is happening within their minds yet are trapped knowing not how to get out...or even knowing that freedom from the mind is possible. These do not yet know Peace of mind. They do not yet know that it is their negative reaction...their resentment and unforgiveness towards people and events...their emotional resistance to "what is", as horrible as it may be or have been, that "lodges" a traumatic event into perhaps a nightmarish memory that plays over and over, and from which they can not escape. They do know that each subsequent experience met wrongly re-energizes and strengthens the whole load of already accumulated negative emotional energy and memories, and that experience met properly will dissolve that accumulated load into nothingness, leaving only Stillness and Inner Peace.

How do you find such Stillness and Peace of Mind? Begin by learning to recognise all your thoughts as thoughts, and realize that neither the "good angel" or the "bad devil" whispering into your mind is who you are. Realize that your True Self is that which "perceives' thought as thought, and if this "observing self" is cultivated, you will begin the process of dying to all your past and begin living by the Light in the Present. You will come to grow and heal. You will come to a New Life and freedom from the old baggage.

Thoughts Are Like Wild Horses

2009-06-24T06:21:00.005-04:00

The following was inspired by my wife K.

Meditation...or mind-watching, is like going into a pen of wild horses...at first the horses rebel and resist wildly against your presence amongst them. There will be fear and panic in the air for an unknown stranger is in the midst. There will be a great commotion, lots of noises, wild movements, hoofs running to and fro, kicking up dust making it hard to see what is going on. There will be a few dominate horse that may charge at you to test you for fear, to try to dominate you, but have no fear...hold your ground and they will not harm you. There will those who run to the furtherest reaches of the pen to avoid you as if to hide. All will be very disturbed by your Presence. But if you will hold your ground, if you will not panic, if you stay very still, your Presence will extend a Peace out into the pen, and slowly but surely, a calm will come over everything in your purview. If you remain in this stillness long enough all the wild horses would become quiet and still too, even against their will. Peace and stillness will enter the pen, and Calm will rule over all that was previously wild and unruly. The key is in the daring to remain still long enough for your Presence to do its Good Work.

The Life-Blood of The Ego

2009-06-22T08:29:00.008-04:00

The ego does not like peace of any kind for too long...it needs conflict and controversy in order to thrive and grow.

The ego keeps a reservoir of grudges...memories of past wrongs and mistakes, or perceived current wrong in order to drawn from and initiate a feeding pattern. The awakening of the ego feeding pattern begins with emotional resistance to what-is.

The ego has a way of throwing a monkey wrench in the works when it needs to feed, but especially when things are going too smoothly.

This monkey wrench...the sabotaging of things when they are going smoothly, can be as when an indivivual turns on himself in anger and/or violence, or when it turns against another in anger and/or violence.

The ego can not for long tolerate peace and tranquility and must soon generate discord, or otherwise latch on to someone else's wrong, rightly or wrongly, in order to disrupt the peace, and to set the stage for obtaining the food that sustains it...resentment and judgement.

The ego can be so disturbed by peace, and so hungry for food, that it sometimes resorts to violence and destruction, even against those closest to it, in order to obtain its needed food. The others negative reaction to the provocation being its goal...its literal life blood.

The ego can only feed and thrive when it receives negative emotional feedback in return for its "attack". This is the treasure the ego prizes most of all.

The ego does not give up too easily, especially when its host is unconscious or powerless to do anything about it.

It continues to attack until it is convinced there is nothing more to gain, perhaps leaving a body on the cross in the process.

But in the end, whether nailed to a cross, or some lesser "punishment", if you remain emotionally unmoved, the other ego is denied its food, and the light grows there instead.

Denied its ego food, the soul, the real person, in the grip of the ego, has a chance to wake up and recover.

In the meantime, we wait without hate, and with the understanding that the other has been taken over for a time, but will return at some point.

Between Thought and Feeling

2009-06-19T10:21:00.009-04:00

As he was being killed Jesus had the "thought" that the people beating and killing him should be forgiven as they did not know what they were doing. He was fully conscious of the reality of things...even under that kind of incredible duress. In our egotistical state, there is the thought, however unconscious, that the person doing us wrong should know better...and maybe they should, but a person in their right "mind" would never harm or do violence to another.

If the attack upon us, verbally or physically, is so sudden as to seemingly leave us with only the feeling...of fear or anger, there is always "thinking" of some kind underneath it. If the feeling is fear, there is the unconscious thought that suggests "I don't want to die" and it causes us to run or become paralyzed with fear...and if the feeling is anger there is the thought that suggests that "I must retaliate" and moves us to do harm in return.

However conscious or unconscious the thinking, there is always a mental suggestion...or a conditioned, hypnotic response based on a earlier suggestion, at the root of egotistical movement/reaction. It is the opposite of the realization of what is right in a given moment which is the root of enlightened movement/action.

Conditioned response can jump so fast from thought to feeling that it takes extreme objectivity to detect it...but there is, none the less, a thought process, however unconscious, however ancient, at work in all negative reactions.

The Dark Master Within

2009-06-17T09:16:00.004-04:00

In the pursuit of becoming objective to ones self, I wonder how many others have run into the following dilemma? For sometime now, whenever the subject of becoming objective to ones thoughts, of "watching" ones thoughts, came up, my friend would say "but I don't see any thoughts". Because she would often hear certain "teachers" speak of "watching" ones thoughts, she was concerned that she was missing something important because she did not "see" any thoughts. She would, it seems, easily become aware of "feelings" that she experienced, but she just couldn't "see" any thoughts associated with those feelings. And so she often had difficulty moving beyond what she "felt" in a given moment. If the "feeling" was a negative feeling, this could become quite a distressful situation.

After puzzling over this for a time it occurred to me to wonder if she was getting hung up on the word "watch", so I said "OK, forget for a moment about the idea of "seeing" your thoughts...the question really is do you "hear" your thoughts? Do you hear the chatter in your mind, the internal voice that sounds like you are speaking to yourself, or of other people' like your mother or father, speaking to you inside your head? Are there things like music, commercials, old conversations being replayed in your mind? Do you "hear" things like these?".

She said "Actually I do hear those things". That was when I realized that she was indeed getting hung up on the word "watch", which really means more to "listen" to what is in the mind. The word "watch" had itself became a block to her progress because her ego suggested to her that she must actually "see" her thoughts. This only sowed confusion, which was "its" goal, "it" being the ego. It was an egoic trick of self-preservation. She was looking within yet was not "seeing" anything because she did not know that to become self-aware, to become objective to ones self, really means to become aware of the internal dialogue, the inncessant voice stream, noise and chatter in the mind that is the substance of the ego itself.

Thought can not become aware of thought, in the same way that the eyes can not see the back of the head that hold them. Luckily however, a shift in her understanding, of realizing by the Light of Reality a fuller extent of what mind watching/hearing/perceiving means, there has been a profound effect in her understanding and objectivity to self. Now that she can "hear" her thoughts, she is learning to identify how her ego speaks and moves within her mind, how it likes to judge, accuse and blame. How it likes to convince her that she is always right, and never wrong. And now that she is growing in understanding of how the ego acts and works within, now that she is becoming aware of its presence, of its "voice" twisting truth to its own advantage, it can no longer so easily remain the dark master that moves her unconsciously.

It is amazing how the ego can get hung up on such a small thing like a "word", and how such a little suggested "thought" can block ones progress on the road to enlightenment and salvation from ego. It is also amazing to see how liberating just a little Light, just a little shift in understanding can be.

Successfully Navigating Daily Life

2009-05-29T07:29:00.003-04:00

Mastery of the fine art of communication between one human being and another is defined by impeccable timing. Knowing when to speak and when to withhold makes all the difference between an effective, appropriate word and the word unwisely spoken. Timing has a lot to do with being fully in the present moment and knowing the requirements of that moment. Being in the moment is key to perfect listening, and perfect listening makes possible perfect understanding and seeing clearly what is appropriate to do or say. The unwise word is based upon presupposition and preplanning where as the timely word, perhaps drawing upon past lessons learned, is always spontaneous and fresh, never planned nor rehearsed, but remains essentially a product of the current Reality.

Preconceived ideas, well-thought out arguments, rehearsed points and the like are all indicative of ego, the inferior way. The wise know how to set these mental constructs aside and dare to be brave, that is, he does not reach for the security of forethought but knows that the blessed state of insecurity, meaning complete reliance upon the Moment for all that he needs, is the Superior Way. It is also the Way of Innocence in that when a man is as a child before the Present Moment, fully and completely dependent upon The Moment to take charge, he will see the Way through, say the right thing or remain silent, and know the Way to go. Unless a man becomes as a little child, he will forever be subjected to little ego-mind with all its short-sightedness, limited perspectives and inability to tap into the creative Power of the Now. Indeed, as is said, paradoxically, true security comes by embracing your insecurity.

The Man In The Mirror

2009-05-15T09:43:00.002-04:00

All of life should be seen objectively, and with dispassion. That is, little, if anything, should get under our skin and move us from the outside. We are meant to be in sole control of our emotional machinery. We should not be controlled by some stranger on the highway giving us the finger, or some grumpy cashier at the corner convenient store, nor even the naughtiness of our children. No, we should not allow anyone or anything on the outside of us to control our reactions. Otherwise we are simply not our own persons with personal happiness and peace beyond our control. To be moved from the outside is to be at the mercy of the world around us.

This morning I was cutting it close to being on time for work. As I approached my exit off the highway I had to squeeze between two vehicles in order to make my turn. Although there was plenty of room between the two for some reason the red pickup truck behind me took offense as I moved into the lane in front of him. He laid on the horn and in my rear view mirror we made eye contact. He angrily raised his middle finger at me and sustained it for a long moment. I looked at him, his finger and at the same time scanned myself to see what I may have been feeling...but saw nothing...not a single reaction. I simply watch him as dispassionatley as if I was watching a boring TV show in my living room. After a moment of this "watching" he suddenly withdrew his finger, hit his brakes and put as much distance as possible between me and him. He acted as if he had seen a ghost. But what he "saw" was "no reaction", and it took him by complete surrpise, and more.

The funny thing about ego is that it can not function long without ego food...emotional reaction from another ego. But when you do not respond to provocation the ego doing the provoking is left with the uncomfortable sensation of nakedness...of being exposed, causing it to flee its reflection seen in the mirror of non-reaction. It is perhaps the first opportunity that a person gets to see themselves as they truly are. This seeing/experiencing of oneself...of one's negativity...of one's impatience, unforgiveness, upset and the like...makes change and transformation possible, as no problem can be overcome until one knows there is a problem. Emotional non-reaction to ego allows for the seeing of self in the Light of Reality. For this reason, patient, emotional non-reaction is called Love...the greatest transformational tool in the Universe.

Faith: Growing From Within

2009-05-05T07:51:00.005-04:00

A woman wrote: "Faith that is seen is not faith."

Is this really true? A biblical verse seems to contradict this "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead." James 2:26 If faith is evidenced by works (like growing in ability to be patient and kind toward others) then such things can indeed be observed within one's self. Indeed, they MUST be seen in order for faith to grow.

The evidence of growing love and faith is seeing how we grow less and less bothered, less and less irritated by others. This can only happen when our negative, irritated, impatient thoughts begin to lose power over us by our growing objectivity to them. In this case, the seeing becomes freeing, and freedom from negative thinking is clear evidence that one is growing in the fruits of The Stillness within. For example, one day we see that we did not handle something properly and we sincerely regret that. We watched it happen, it pain us a bit and we let it go because we know we can do nothing about it. This letting go and letting God deal with the problem is the same as having faith in a Higher Power. Then one day comes along and a similar situation arises and, lo and behold, we discover that we have handled it better than the last time. Perhaps in a surprising or creative way. In any case there has been a clear change for the better, there has been growth, and it is plain that something new has been added unto us, but we do not know HOW we have changed. We only know that we HAVE been changed. We see that in giving the problem over to a Higher Power we were rewarded with new ability, a growth in grace and power that was clearly not there before. We see how doing nothing of ourselves allowed Creative Intelligence to do the work within us, through us. And seeing this leads to more faith born of Stillness, which is rewarded with more growth in grace and ability in a never ending progression of transformation.

Tranformative Faith

2009-05-05T07:39:00.004-04:00

I once heard someone say that "Faith that is seen is not faith." But I wonder, is this really true? A bible verse seems to contradict this notion; "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead." James 2:26

If faith is evidenced by works (like growing in ability to be patient and kind toward others) then such things can indeed be observed within one's self. Indeed, they MUST be seen in order for faith to grow. The evidence of growing love and faith is seeing how we grow less and less bothered, less and less irritated by others. And this can only happen when our negative, irritated, impatient thoughts within begin to lose their power over us by a growing objectivity to them. In this case, the seeing becomes freeing, and freedom from the influence of thought...especially negative thought, is clear evidence that one is growing Objectivity.

One day we see that we did not handle something properly and we sincerely regret that. We watched it happen, we let it pain us a bit and we let it go because we know that there is nothing we can do nothing about it. This letting go and letting God deal with our problem, so to speak, is the same as having faith in something greater than ourself. Then one day comes along, a similar situation arises and, lo and behold, we discover that we have handled things better than the last time. Perhaps in a surprisingly creative way. There has been a change for the better, there has been growth, and it is plain and obvious that something new has been added unto us, but we do not know how we have been changed. We only know that we HAVE been changed.

We see that the faith we exercised in giving the problem over to Him was rewarded with new ability...a growth in grace and power that was not there before. Seeing His magical, transformative work within us adds to our faith in Him. We see how doing nothing of ourselves allowed Him to do the work within us, through us. And seeing this leads to more faith in Him, which is rewarded with more growth in grace and ability in a never ending progression of transformation.

Meditation and Spiritual Exercise

2009-05-04T07:24:00.009-04:00

There have always been those who have traveled great distances hoping to discover the meaning of life, and who seek the key to a spiritual practice that enlightens the mind and brings solace to the troubled soul. Oceans have been crossed, perils faced and relationships lost all in the name of finding the "holy grail" that gives grace, peace and purpose to the tired and weary mind. There are also employed countless rituals such as lighted candles, repeated prayers, special chairs and kneeling stools, of vows and fasts and holy exercise, all done and redone in the name of finding Inner Peace and ego release. But the problem with looking to a person, place, thing or particular behavior in pursuit of enlightenment is that the external practice always misses the point of genuine spiritual exercise...it externalizes a strictly internal discipline. It blocks discovery the very thing to be found. True spiritual exercise does not need to be sought any further then one's own mind...for "the Kingdom is within".

All true spiritual exercise begins and ends with the awareness of what is going on in your mind in the Present Moment. True spiritual exercise does not depend upon anything but the moment at hand to access and observe Reality. One only needs to bring awarness to bear upon ones inner state of being, on to ones inner thoughts and feelings, at any moment in order to return, as prodigal sons, unto the Light of Awareness, and out of darkness. There is no higher purpose of spiritual exercise.

There is no need to climb a mountain, sit in a certain posture or go to a particular temple to practice spiritual exercise. Whether you are at a stop sign, pumping gas, making a sandwich or talking with your wife, everyday, ordinary things can become spiritual practice, can become the means to access the Present and become the means to Realization and Enlightenment. In this way everyday things, if fully experienced with moment to moment mindfulness, become spiritual exercise leading one out of ego, which has it's being in the past and future, and into the Present Moment and Awareness...a human beings truest essence.

There is no need to seek anything outside of one's self...no need to seek beyond the Present Moment, any person, place or thing, to find what it already within and already waiting for us. Presence of mind, awareness of everything within and without, returns us to Reality and Safety, the moment we become aware that we are lost in thought. We only need to wake from the dream, awake from involvement with the inner thought world, to come back, like the Prodigal Son, to Awareness of the Present Moment where Reality lives. This is the Holy Grail whose Way is narrow and few find. This is spiritual exercise to make all other exercise of naught. Seek nothing beyond awareness of the Now and discover all that is Real. Come back to the Present Moment and find All that you have been searching for.

The Pandora's Box Called Marriage

2009-04-28T08:57:00.012-04:00

Marriage, under the best of circumstances, can be likened to Pandora's box in that it can set free all the negative quirks and egoic faults each other has. But there is something to be said for a close relationship between a husband and a wife in which both parties can "tell on themselves" and expose whatever ego issues arise between them. Fear, jealousy, insecurity and the like are utterly destructive forces in personal relationships, unless of course, these things can be honestly expressed and discussed as they arise. In this case there is no permanent harm. In this way the ego and its ways are disarmed even as it is brought to the Light of day where it is exposed and ultimately sterilized into nothingness in the same fashion that the fictional vampire is dissolved in sunlight.

It takes a strong commitment to what is right,...a strong commitment to the Truth...in order to overcome the self-protective and destructive aspects of the ego because it is highly embarrassing to look at, let alone admit to, what is wrong with oneself. It requires a greater commitment to the Truth than it does to saving face, to excuse making and/or denial in order to overcome ones ego. But really, what is the alternative to facing the truth about oneself? The alternative is to preserve and act out of the ego, and uphold all of its destructive ways, consciously or unconsciously. It is to defend, attack, excuse and/or accuse rather then face the truth about oneself. It is to act out of egoic fear, jealousy or insecurity instead of passing through them to greater love between the two. It is to destroy the very integrity of the relationship because truth and reality is sacrificed for the lie. It is the very definition of hell within a relationship....a sickness that ferments in the darkness of denial, and slowly rots the integrity of the relationship from the inside out.

There is something about a close relationship that brings to the surface all the egoic faults that otherwise would lay dormant within each other. No wonder it is said that marriage is the place where one can "work out" ones salvation. Who doesn't need to be saved from ones ego? Marriage is a chance to face head on and overcome ones ego as revealed in the mirror of an intimate relationship with another. And though it does not take two to make a spiritual practice out of a relationship, it is a real blessing when the two can come together to openly and honestly bring to the Light all that is selfish and self-serving between them. Exposure of the egoic play between the two not only exposes and disarms the ego and its games, but also allows for genuine respect and understanding to grow between them. Respect for the strength of the truth-teller who dares to risk exposing them self for truths sake, but also for growing understanding and compassion for the inherited egoic conditioning the other carries yet wishes to overcome. Here in lays the hope and promise of marriage, and here in lays the possibility of a growing, lasting Love Relationship between two human beings.

The Joy of Being

2009-04-27T06:50:00.002-04:00

Human beings, at the core, are meant to be expressions of joy and happiness, of calm and steadfastness, of never failing Love. Human beings, like animals and other created things, are meant to express oneness with the Purpose for which they were created. And it is Oneness with purpose that gives grace, peace and contentment to the created thing. But alas, of all the created things in the universe, only the human being can be other than it was created to be. Only the human being can be unhappy and discontent with its existence. How many cows or trees do you know who need to see a psychiatrist, or take a drug to cope with existence?

Deep and abiding joy, happiness, emotional freedom and expression of purpose are the attributes of a human being who has found the root of his or her human existence. Fear, pain, unease and discontent are the lot of the human being drifting along life without a clear purpose, lost upon the sea of life and having yet to discover the key to personal fulfillment…a fulfillment open to all who honestly seek to know it. The myriad of psychological ills and mental/spiritual dis-eases in the human race as a whole testify to the truth of this statement.

For this reason few are they who are truly happy and joy-filled, able to walk the face of the earth in peace and contentment and share of their abundance of love and good will. Most indeed, are so lacking in the truest of human attributes that they have little or nothing to give. We are a race of beings who live in a constant state of need and want. We are a spiritually impoverished species in constant search of inner fulfillment not from within where we should look for it, but from without, from other impoverished individuals who themselves are in need and have little of anything real to give. It is almost like we are vampires seeking blood from another vampire who themselves are in need of blood. It makes little sense, but alas, this is what we do to each other.

Without love, without an internal ground of being, humanity as a whole remains a wobbly lot of emotionally driven cattle, subject to fluctuating moods of fleeting pleasure, boredom and unhappiness when it does not have to be this way at all. If only we knew how to find Love within ourselves. If only we knew how to remain emotionally even and constant, at peace with ourselves. If only we knew how the remain in control of our emotional machinery in spite of whatever circumstance surrounded us. If only we knew how to find fulfillemtn from within and share of that abundance rather than suck the little life-force we have from one another. What a different world this might be. No more wars or strife, no more hunger or pain. If only we understood the purpose we are meant to express.

The main reason for our lack of purpose, for our lack of inner peace and almost all the emotional turmoil we experience as human beings is because we are first mislead by our eons old, collective human culture to look outside ourselves to find what we need. The second, and perhaps more important reason we remain deeply unhappy people is because of the our frustration in not finding what we need in others, in things that can not possibly give it to us. The anger, upset and frustration keep us from seeing the nature of our problem by blinding our common sense and ability to put two and tow together. Therefore, resentment and irritation are our biggest obstacle to seeing through and overcoming our deepest problems.

The learning, the discovering of our full potential as a human being, if it is too come at all, must be from personal experience, from learning to recognize that we are not our ego, but we are instead that which observes the ego, our “selves“. And the main lesson to learn is to learn to become objective to our own mind and emotions, the essence of our ego. We do well to o cultivate the “Awareness” within that observes our mind and emotions for within each of us is a rock steady “place” outside the mind and emotions…a safe, still, calm place from which to observe and remain untouched by what we observe.. And that “Place” is founded, and when repeatedly “visited” grows ever in eternal peace and calm, of joy, ease of being and light-heartedness. The road map to finding this place is called “meditation”, which is the art form of learning to become the still watcher of your own “self“. The objectivity that accumulates and results from “meditation” forms a “New Man” who, out of the ashes of observed ego, rises to find and have Eternal Being and Eternal Life and all the peace, joy and happiness that means.

The Power of the Watcher

2009-02-19T07:44:00.007-05:00

For the human being there is no higher awareness than the Witnessing Presence of the watcher.

If you can see your thoughts, or feel your emotions, it is the evidence of the Light of Awareness within you. It is evidence of the beginning of salvation from the slavery of the mind and all of its entanglements.

The mind can not see itself and remain intact, for Awareness shining Its Light on the mind exposes and begins to annihilate the ego which has taken over the mind. Of itself the ego-controlled mind seeks to avoid this kind of exposure in the same way that a vampire avoids the sunlight at all costs.

When the soul has suffered enough, when it is sick and tired of being sick and tired the way for the arising of Awareness comes, the doorway opens. Awareness IS the One and Only watcher, and is wholly (Holy) complete, containing within Itself depth without end.

The Light of Awareness and the Illusion of Separation

2009-02-18T08:51:00.002-05:00

Woman: "The Holy Spirit makes contact with our spirit when we meditate, when the flesh is not in the way."

Man: Thats not entirely correct. It is the mind first and foremost, not the body, that gets in the way of Oneness with Spirit. The Holy Spirit is already within us, sustaining our living, breathing existence and acting as conscience when we are not as one with Him. When we become still and separate from our mind we discover our innate Oneness with Him. He is the inseparable Light by which we, the watcher, see. It is the mind that produces all sense of separation from Him. Awareness, which all children are born with, and which we must return to, precedes all subsequent sense of mind identity, of all culturally induced identity, the illusion of being a separate entity from the Light of Awareness we come into the world with. "Except ye become as little children again..." In meditation we discover that we are already in Union with Him, that He has always been there beyond the mind, and that without Him we could not hope to existence. Awakening means to realize who we already are, but in order to awaken we must lay down the culture formed mind as the source of our identity. Returning home, like the prodigal son, means to leave behind mind and all its thoughts about who we are, as we return, once again, to the state of pure Awareness we were born with.

Resistance Is Futile

2009-02-06T10:06:00.003-05:00

The longer I live the more ridiculous I see it to be resistant to what is. With growing evidence I see that patience and a willingness to accept (on an emotional level) the way things are can produce results far superior (and unexpected) than any other way. Resistance can be defined as any negative emotion...or action resulting there from; impatience, denial, anger, resentment, upset are just a few examples of resistance to circumstance.

To obtain and maintain inner peace...a peace that surpasses all understanding...we must learn to accept, on an emotional level, the way things are. This, of course, does not mean we will always like what is, that we have to live with a given circumstance, or that we can not change things, it just means that we drop the "emotional resistance" to what ever our circumstances are. Creative Energy is available to us only when we do not emotionally resist a given moment...when we accept on an emotional level what is as it is.

It makes no sense to deny that you are being robbed with a gun to your head, for example, yet it is calm acceptance of the current reality that offers you opportunities to deal with the circumstance in a Creative Way. I am reminded of that young lady who calmly read from the book "A Purpose Driven Life" and gently lead to Reality the man who held her hostage in her own home for several days to have him peacefully turn himself in at the end of the ordeal. Her emotional acceptance of her then current reality and the resulting calm and presence of mind that arose within her helped to save both their lives when it could have just as easily turned into unspeakable tragedy through emotional resistance to it.

All suffering and emotional pain are the result of resistance to what is. Have you ever lost something and suffered for it? A girlfriend, boyfriend, a job, a special piece of jewelry or anything at all that you had valued? Did you notice that you suffered for as long as you indulged in resistant thinking about your loss, and the emotions those thoughts gave rise to within you? Did you notice that you suffered in direct proportion to your failure to accept the reality of your circumstance?

Indeed, all emotional suffering is the result of our inability to accept what is as it is. Peace and contentment come to the degree that we accept reality and offer up no resistance to it. Cultivate the watching of your inner self...your mind, your thoughts and feelings within you. Learn to identify negative thoughts and feelings and learn to drop indulging in all inner resistance to Reality. See then, in this way, your inner peace progressively grow into a solid rock that nothing outside of you can ever take from you.

The Razors Edge...Proper Mindfulness

2009-01-21T19:24:00.005-05:00

There is true watching...which is the same as the scripture that tells us to pray unceasingly...where we watch all our thoughts and all that goes on before our eyes. In this way we are aware of everything inside and out...especially our reactions and resentments. This way leads to growing consciousness. Then there is thinking about watching your thinking. This way is hypnotic and keeps us submerged in our thinking and asleep to Reality, even as we "think" we are awake.

A Quote I Came Across Today

2009-01-08T20:40:00.007-05:00

"Now you must learn that only infinite patience produces immediate effects"

Are You A Slave to Negative Thoughts and Feeling?

2008-12-27T10:17:00.008-05:00

Eckhardt Tolle tells the story of how ducks, after a squabble with other ducks, will instantly and briskly flap their wings to release the stress and negative energy the squabble created. Today I watched a young doe gingerly and quite cautiously meander her way through the neighborhood. At one point while making her way through the neighbor's yard in front of my house she suddenly became startled by something and instantly ducked in a protective pose but just as quickly realized that whatever it was that startled her was nothing to be alarmed about. She immediately stood upright, briskly shook her tail and resumed her adventure as she disappeared into the wooded area in the back of the neighbors yard. I observed in this doe what Tolle observed in his ducks...the instant letting go of negativity and stress

But what is it about people that we can not so easily shake off negative experiences? Why is it we are unable to let go of fear, anger, hostility, hurt feelings or feelings of revenge? Why can an animal so successfully move from one moment to another and leave the last moment behind cleanly and we can not? Why do human beings compulsively carry the last moment into the next and thereby poison the future? I suggest to you that human beings are actually in compulsive slavery to their internal feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative. And it is this slavery that is the root of all addiction and all conflict. This slavery ends when one finds the still quiet center within and learns to become objective, and thereby "distant to" mind thoughts and emotions. This is where true self-control becomes possible. But this only becomes possible when one actually practices mind watching...especially becoming watchful of negative emotions like anger and resentment and the thoughts (and feelings) that accompanying them. Until then the slavery and compulsion will rule us. And peace of mind, love, patience and forgiveness will not.

Quote Of Note #4

2008-10-09T08:00:00.008-04:00

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances. - Gandhi

Except A Man Die And Be Born Again

2008-09-29T22:11:00.004-04:00

We are born with nothing but a still, quiet, aware mind but soon after
we fall into the ego. We fall from pure awareness into the thinking
mind...into language, which then becomes the ceaseless chatter within
the head we come to think of as "us". This is the ego. We are told to
die to the ego, to the thinking mind and to become as observant,
quiet, aware little children again. This is the second birth.

For The Ladies - How To Catch A Good Man

2008-09-18T09:45:00.009-04:00

I was in Lowes hardware store today when two young workers walked by. They were talking about one man’s relationship with a pregnant girlfriend. He said “I don’t think I’m ready to be a Daddy, and I certainly ain’t gonna marry her.” Now my question is this. What was this girl thinking when she picked this guy to be her “mate”? Perhaps the young man will come around and be responsible, perhaps he won’t. And if he doesn’t, what then? What a mess, and a mess that could have been avoided completely if the young lady had some common sense and wisdom.

One of the messages I have for young ladies is this. Do you want a man who will love you? Do you want a man who will be a good father to your children? If the answer is yes, then make him prove that to you. How? Easy. Have a long engagement with no sex until you are married. The longer the better. And if he sticks around with you for all that time without getting any then you will know that he loves you for you, and not for what he can get from you. And if he blows you off? Well, then you will have learned the truth about him. Be glad you did not bond yourself to a man like that. Better he leave now than when you are strapped with three children.

And another thing. If you find a man who will stick with you in a long engagement without sex, then you two will surely have formed a strong foundation of friendship and respect…of real love for one another. And when the sex part does come, and brings with it all its ups and down, (pleasure always has an opposite and equal reaction of pain), you will have that solid foundation of love to fall back upon to see you through.

Many young ladies today think that they will never get a man unless this put out, giving into his demands for sex. In this way it is easy for most young ladies to “get” a man. But you really have to ask yourself, with all the multiple partners and failed relationships, divorces and abuse cases that abound, is this really anyway to “get” a man? Trying before the buying spoils a man, he just wants to keep on trying, promising to buy (one day) until an unwanted pregnancy comes along and he flees, leaving her alone or he marries reluctantly, and with a degree of secret resentment. This is really no way to form the basis of a strong relationship of love to weather the storms of life.

Ladies, be wise. Make your man prove his love for you. Love is constant, love wants what is best for you, love is patient and understanding. Any man who displays these characteristics will be a worthy catch…and one well worth the wait.

A Quote Of Note #3

2008-09-12T19:48:00.003-04:00

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” - Lao Tzu

Live Forever - The Magic of Flower Essence

2008-09-10T14:23:00.012-04:00

I am a practical guy so when during my recently concluded herbal apprenticeship weekend the subject of using dousing pendulums to make yes/no decisions came up I had to skip participation. I explained that that is what my intuition is for and left it at that. No one seemed to mind. But when it came to the "ritual" for making flower essences I was game to play.

If you do not know what flower essence is all about you can read about it here . Anyway what you do is find a flower in nature, pick the flower, put it in a bowl of water and let it sit in the sun for a time so that the essence of the flower mingles with the water, which then is added to a bit of brandy for preservation and that, in a nut shell, is how medicinal flower essence is made.

So, this weekend we were instructed to walk about the teachers lovely garden, find a flower that seemed to speak to us, perform the "ritual" and to sit and meditate on the flower as it mingled with the bowl of water and sun. I walked around looking for a flower and did not find one right away. Only when I returned to my starting point did I notice a beautiful, vibrant, strong flower that I somehow missed the first time. How could I have missed seeing this impressive flower the first time I wondered? That was enough to get my attention. I had never seen a flower like this before, I didn't know its name but this flower became my choice. So I did the gathering and sat in meditation as instructed. Almost immediately I became aware of how this growing thing and I were one in that That which grows and sustains this flower is the same as That which grows and sustains me. That within this flower is an intelligence that causes the atoms to whirl in a particular order that is the same as the intelligence that cause the atom to whirl in the same order as in me. I became aware of the Unifying Intelligence behind the atoms. Then I became aware of the the wind, the rustling trees, the church bells, the birds singing and winging and experienced deeply the Reality of oneness with all. Even when the neighbor started using his electric hammer drill on some project I could "see" the oneness in the electricity that powered that drill, and in the plastic and metal that made it. Everything is sustained by the same Source and everything is One and the Same at it Truest Essence. This I experienced deeply. And when I opened my eyes everything was alive...even the rocks that held the flower bed in front of me were a whirl of atoms directed by the Same Source as everything else. The spider climbing the rock in front of me, I knew, was me, and I were it. It was an amazing meditation.

Now we were instructed to go to the teacher's library and research our flower. First it had to be identified, then researched to learn the characteristics of its essence. I discovered that "my" flower was called "Live Forever"(sedum purpureum). A plant, I learned, so amazingly persistent that it can regenerate from any part of its composition. A fact that, along with its vibrant appearance, gave it its common name.

Here is what my research learned about the said attributes of this flower's essence. "It coordinates Spirit and human into a single unit." It "temporarily cleanses the subconscious mind where it is brought into a temporary state of alignment with (Spirit). "Meditation, intuition and the higher aspects of psychic faculties increase". This flower "gives the individual a greater awareness of ones self as a soul" and "increases the basic sensitivity and consciousness of the conscious mind.” "People experiencing severe disruption in communicating with Spirit...like schizophrenia...can use this essence (as it) helps unify mind, body and Spirit."

Was it a coincidence that I had a powerful meditation regarding the Oneness of all while meditating with this flower whose essence is said to help bring about unity between Spirit and the consciousness? I only know that at bottom the essence of everything is One with each having its own unique expression and purpose. I also know that if Intelligent Spirit can give "life" even to the rocks, then I know that there is a magical essence within everything. Flower essences are said to be healing for both man and animal. I am not experienced enough to say that that is so, yet, I do not believe in pure coincidence. What I experienced meditating while doing the “ritual” gathering of this flower, and what I later learned to be its attributes, I can not dismiss as purely coincidental. There is sickness of mind, spirit and body on this earth, that is a fact. But Spirit, knowing what was to come, has made available all manner of healing aids. And as a flower can give off amazingly magical fragrance, a fragrance so beautiful sometimes that it hints of the Eternal, why could there not be physical and spiritual healing properties within them too?

A Quote of Note #2

2008-09-10T10:15:00.004-04:00

"The more virtuous any man is, the less easily does he suspect others to be vicious". - Cicero

A Quote of Note #1

2008-08-30T11:21:00.002-04:00

"You must learn to get in touch with your inner-most being. This true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless, it is free, it is immune to criticism, it does not fear any challenge. It is beneath no one, superior to no one, and full of magic, mystery and enchantment." -Deepak Chopra

Of Men And Mice...And Cats and Dogs

2008-08-05T15:18:00.012-04:00

Anything that gives us a feeling of any kind...whether a tattoo or a puppy...keeps us earthbound and ego identified. I think the motivation for having pets is the beginning, and possibly the end, of whether we are in a proper relationship with them or not.

A 20 year old cat of mine died recently. I got him originally out of real need. I had a serious mouse problem. I had tried everythig else and finally settled on the idea of a cat. I found him when I least expected it as a kitten in a Plumbing Supply warehouse. I knew instantly he was for me and we would make made a deal. I would feed him and give him shelter in exchange for him keeping the mice away. Turns out that at 8 weeks old he had a large appetite for mice. Lucky me.

He also had to agree to not play those manipulative cat games, getting under foot and all, nor get on my bed with me. He kept his end of the bargain and I kept mine. He would became more dog than cat. In the early years he would follow me anywhere I walked. In the later years he was less daring to go so far from the yard.

When I went away for two years I left him with my mother and aunt. He was not the same cat when I returned. He learned to manipulate them. Getting under foot, he learned, would get them aggravated, but it would also get him some extra food snacks. So they developed a kind of love/hate relationship with him. He would aggravate, they would get mad, they would feel guilty for being "mean", and then give him food. Worked everytime. He tried this with me once upon my return, but found it would not work. But from time to time I would hear the loud exclaimations and sharp protests from the downstairs apartment, "Sid! You're a pain. Get outside!!" or "What is it??? You just ate! For Gods sake get out from under my feet!!!"

But I noticed something interesting. When it became clear that he had died I hardly felt a thing. I was able to let him go the moment I knew he was gone. It was what was and I've made it a practice to accept "what is" the moment it happens. He had done his job, and now his time was up and that was that. I felt only the tiniest of pain, and it lasted a millisecond or two before it was gone. But it was the ones downstairs, the ones who had had a love/hate relationship with him, who took several days to let him go, and I am not so sure they have truly let him go.

In the days just after it was clear he was gone they would talk about him all the time, about the time he did this, or the time he did that. They would make expressions of sorrow, expressions of hope that he had had a painless end, etc etc. They would sit in the yard and do this, and they would continue to do it around the dinner table. I found it very intersting that those who did not relate to him right in life could not so easily let him go in death. I could see that thier expressions and concern were really not so much for the cat, but were really based in feelings of remorse based on past guilts for not relating to him properly while he lived. In my case Sid the cat came into my life in a time of need, without will or effort on my part, and we had made a bargain. He lived up to his end of it and I mine. At the end of his life, I was able to let him go in peace just as easily as I was to accept him into my life in the beginning.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of having an animal solely for the purpose of companionship. If you are lonely then it is because you do not have a proper relationship with Reality within yourself. If you feel alone and incomplete without a relationship to something outside yourself then you have yet to find your inner Root, so you compensate by attaching yourself to things outside yourself, to get your feeling of worthiness, or to fill your inner void. Anything at all can give us the feeling of being wanted, needed, loved, appreciated, of serving a purpose, but anything outside ourselves that gives us those feelings at the expense of inner Groundedness only feed our illusion of completeness. We must mediate carefully to examine all of our relationships. We must make sure that there is always the proper amount of distance between us and the other end of our relationships. In this way we keep our relationship with Reality first and foremost, and everything else coming after that. In this way all things in our lives will be in proper balance and proper order.

The Seeds of Truth

2008-08-03T15:10:00.004-04:00

It is so much easier to see the faults of another than it is to see our own. For this reason we must be very careful when we speak our "truth" to another. To be sure it is ours to speak our truth with dispassion and proper timing...and too speak it without expectation of result. We are not to be concerned with whether or not our spoken truth is accepted...or rejected by anyone.

Speaking truth is like sowing a seed in the garden. Once planted the process of germination is strictly up to the soil and the Living Magic within the seed to work out. There is nothing a sower can do to make the Magic unfold. There is no way to improve on the process. On the other hand there is much a sower can do to interfere with the process. Impatiently digging the seed back up to look for signs of sprouting or prying open the seed casing before its time in the name of helping it are examples of how to interfere with a process the sower has no business in.

When we speak our truth to another it is good to know that it is never our responsibility to make that truth grow in them. It is nice to know when it does grow but in many cases we may never know, but in all cases the relationship between the Truth and the other must be left to do its own job. Too many "truth" sayers tend to ruin things by not allowing Providence the chance to do Its work. Truth spoken without patience, or without a good grasp on the fact that people have a right to accept or reject It as they will, almost always has the opposite effect of the good intended.

It is good to know that we are not the Truth but only the vehicle through which Truth is expressed. It is good to never take it personally when another accepts or rejects our spoken Truth. If you do take it personally it is a good sign that you are speaking your truth in an unwholesome or untimely manner. If this is the case, all is not lost. Use the opportunity to see what is your fault. Impatience? Unforgiveness? Playing God? Resentment? Whatever it is be grateful to see the Truth about yourself. In this way your faults will be uncovered, brought to the Light of Day and be resolved. The seeing is freeing. And that is the Truth.

"My Only Love Sprung From My Only Hate"

2008-07-22T13:12:00.005-04:00

A friend of mine, who has a deep grasp of human psychology, is fond of quoting a line from Shakespeare. Juliet says "My only love sprung from my only hate". Now what on earth does this mean? And what is my friend trying to illustrate by quoting this?

The other day I was walking the beach with a friend. The waves that day were about 3 feet tall and the roiling, back to back breakers were coming onto shore in failrly rapid succession. As we walked at waters edge I found a small stick, a 2 x 3, about 15" long with some white paint on it. It apparently had washed up on shore in the waves. I mindlessly picked it up and threw it into a breaker. To my surprise the wave brought the stick back to me and nearly planted it at my feet. I exclaimed "Oh, its like a boomerang. See! Toss it in and it comes back to you!". My friend was amused. So I threw it again even as we continued walking. Lo and behold, onced again the wave returned the stick and planted in on the shore nearly in front of me. I jokingly said "good puppy!". By this time my friends eyes were intently watching this unfold. By now, we had walked to a section of the beach were the wave action had caused the sand to drop about 24" making a miniature, straight drop little cliff. The crashing waves would hit this area and fly straight up into the air, hardly able to breach the broken sand line and advance any further. I said to my friend, "this would be a very tough place to have the stick return" But once again I threw the stick into the breaking waves and watched it disappear into the foamy white and disappear. The wave came in and hit the "cliff" and rose straight up into the air. I watched to see if I could see the stick anywhere but I could not when just then, almost magically, the stick appeared not more than 10 feet from me, sitting firmly on the top of the little cliff as if waiting for me to pick up.

Now my friend was incredulous, and it showed on her face. She was challenged to make this happen for herself. So before I could get to the stick she rushed over, picked it up and with all determination tossed it into the wave in a manner that dared it to return to her as it had for me. But it was not to be. Instead the stick bobbed and weaved in the froathy waves but would not come back to the shore. The frustration on her face said "you worked for him, why wouldn't you work for me, damn it!!" She immediately gave up and walked away from the scene as I laughed at her silly little ego. But just as she had her back to the scene the stick reappeared in the water near the shore, close enough to wade in ankle deep to get it. I pointed that out to her and she did wade in to get it but then handed it to me. I was really amused at her quiet frustration yet thought it very silly to be so challenged and to be disappointed by so small a thing.

Just then I said I was going to toss the stick in to the water way beyond the breakers so it could go off into uncharted places. My friend said "No!, Don't, don't toss it away" as she protectively, almost motherly, took it from me and actually held it to her heart. I could see that she suddenly had an attachment to the stick she was moments before frustrated at. She actually felt a bit of emotional pain at the idea of me tossing the stick away. She said "no, you can't just throw it away". I said "Are you going to keep it? Isn't that a silly thing to do?". She agreed it was but was under a spell of protectiveness anyway. After walking a bit she saw a small pile of other wood pieces grouped together on the beach. She decided to toss the stick into this pile saying "there, now it won't be lonely". I said "do you know how silly you are? Can you see what just happened here? You got irritated by the stick not behavinga as you wanted it to and suddenly you grew a bizarre affection for it. Can you see how silly that is". She did see how silly it was, and laughed at her own silliness too. I went on to explain exactly what had just occurred, for what had occurred was that a kind of love, a kind of affection for a "thing" that was not there a moment before, had grown immediately out of her frustrated with it. Out of her hate grew her new love. It was a perfect opportunity to show her how it is that love, the lower, egotistcal, emotional feeling of attraction for a person, place or thing, that we all have is almost always born out of hate, frustration, irritation or the like with the object of that "love" . I also explained that this kind of love isn't real love at all, but rather an inferior kind that tends to dominate, apoison, almost every relationship on earth because people always end up hating what they need, but need what they hate. The kind of love, that is really a guilt based "love", with its inherent need to possess comes out of first hating. Real love never possesses but sets free and does not hold.

But the neat part of all this was that my friend was able to immediately see the principle. She was immediately able to see how many of her relationships were based on being first frustrated with someone, or something. That is why I like her friendship. She has an affection for the truth, even at the expense of her own ego.

Suffer Not The Little Ego?

2008-07-01T19:01:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine once commented that we live in the era of pleasure whereas most of past human history was an existence of suffering, or fending off suffering. There was a time, for example, when had to grow our food off the land, which meant hard work. Then we had to store the food to last through long cold winters. By spring time many people were near starvation. Not like today was it when all we have to do to get a meal is get to the nearest supermarket and pick from thousands of choices.

The age of pleasure where any want can be fulfilled, where any desire can be satisfied, where any hankering can be quenched, is really not so cool when we consider that suffering is a major designated agency in facilitating the overthrow of the ego, and in finding the purpose for which we were created...in other words, in finding salvation and enlightenment. In light of this it is really a sad and unfortunate circumstance that many more of us in this age are apt to miss the purpose of life than all of those who came in ages before us.

Suffering sharpens the quest to understand ones existence and the reason for pain, leading many to understanding about things important. Pain often leads to the realization of ones errors and points to subsequent correction. Pleasure...or the easy escape from pain and suffering, may seem like a cool thing in the short term, but in the end it helps the ego go no where fast. To die in the ego state is to have missed transcendence of the ego, where the eternal arises in its ashes and assures that conscious existence in the next stage of existence.

Wealth and liberalism, where the wealth of others is redistributed to those without, are great alleviators of suffering and pain, and hence are really great enemies of the eternal and secret friend of the ego. Liberalism is the great mother spirit that holds and comforts the little ones and never lets them go...never lets them suffer. Only that which is allowed to suffer and learn from its suffering grows in the right way. That which hinders such growth is not real love at all but a smoother love that nurtures the ego even as it suffocates the Spirit.

Love does not seek to protect the ego...love exposes it, or allows it to be exposed to all things that bruise it. Love knows that within the hard shell of ego lay the seed of the eternal. All false love seeks to keep the ego intact and whole, helping it to avoid exposure to pain and suffering, and enabling it to remain free of want. Great wealth is a curse to the man who has no character. Liberalism, the champion of the ego self, is a curse to those who are not allowed the dignity to suffer. Are you wealthy? Then live as if you had no wealth to protect you so that you may grow. Are you poor? Then live as if you have no need, that you may find your True Wealth.

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

2008-06-28T12:11:00.003-04:00

Yesterday it was raining all day. My grandson Noah, 4, asked if we could go to the park. I said that it was raining so not today, but perhaps we could go tomorrow. He said "Papa, there is no tomorrow...only now!" I could only agree because truer words were never spoken.

Lose An Arm...Gain A Life

2008-06-25T20:41:00.005-04:00

Kasey Edwards, 18, of Okeechobee, Fla., lost his left arm after unexpectedly grappling with the 11-foot long alligator in a canal at 2 a.m. Sunday, June 22, 2008. Three days later he had this to say to Fox News ""It seems like there's a crossroads," Edwards told WFLX-TV. "Either you have a positive attitude, you know, just make the best of a bad situation, or just sit there and feel sorry for yourself." I can't help but to be impressed with the wisdom expressed by so young a man three days after his arm was lost to the jaws of an alligator.

Whatever the situation was that put this young man in a Florida canal at 2:00am is another story, what matters at this point is that this young man is now, as he so eloquently stated, at a crossroads, and has taken the right turn. How many of us could lose an arm to a giant reptile and three days later simply shake off the experience and go on with life so matter of factly? In a world where most would have their whole day ruined because some one gave them the finger in traffic, or it rained on their parade, I find it so refreshing to see such noble character on display.

A true strength of character is in the ability to take what comes at us with poise and grace. It is the opposite of whining, moaning and groaning. It is the opposite of self-pity and looking for sympathy for our misfortune. The ability to accept what is, to take what life throws at us, even if it is because of some silliness on our own part, without emotional resistance to it, is the basis of turning all misfortune into genuine blessing.

The attitude with which this young man has taken his misfortune now makes it possible that, notwithstanding his new found situation, he can turn a sows ear into a silk purse. He is already more for the lose of his arm...already better, not bitter, for the experience. He is newly minted with the wisdom and grace of experience met properly and he shines. His future will remain as bright as his continued optimism.

Answer to "What Is It #1"

2008-06-21T20:26:00.002-04:00

A Crab Shell

What Is It? #1

2008-06-19T19:26:00.006-04:00

Thought I would try a guessing game. This is a small part of a larger image from nature. Can you guess what this is? You can click the word "comments" just below the photo and post a guess...or you can wait for a few days to find out when I post the complete image.

Sitting Still At The Cabaret

2008-06-14T17:27:00.004-04:00

In the finale of the movie "Cabaret" Liza Minelli singing the title song asks the question "What good is sitting alone in your room? The song goes on to suggest that one should "come hear the music play" because life is too short and sitting alone in your room isn't going to get you anywhere fast. An interesting philosophy that seems to sum up the way of the world but a philosophy diametrically opposed by ole Blaise Pascal, a rare iconoclast who in the 17th century observed that "all the evils of life have fallen upon us because men will not sit alone quietly in a room."

What is it that causes us to need constant distraction - wine, women, song, TV, work, hobbies - and avoid like the plaque any kind of stillness? What? You don't think this is true? Well, go into your room, shut the door and just sit for a while and be alone with your thoughts and feelings. See how long it is before you run from the room in mysterious panic. That is the reaction of most people. They call it going "stir crazy"

But there are those few explorers of the inner universe who eschew outward distraction, who do not mind being alone quietly observing their thoughts. These know the value and benefit of sitting quietly in their room, learning to detach from the chatter and noise in the mind, learning to stay in the present moment instead of getting lost in thinking, and deliberately cultivating inner quiet and stillness. These rare souls come to know the very real blessings and accumulated benefit derived by sitting still, even as the ego, which thrives on distraction, diminishes and something eternal arises in its place.

A good meditation to practice is learning to sit still at the "Cabaret". What I mean is that sometimes life requires us to be someplace we may not really want to be but we can use that very same oportunity for the good. In the midst of a boring sermon or speech perhaps, or in the midst of loud hustle and bustle at an airport shut down by storm, or whatever the circumstance may be, we can use it as an opportunity to be in the circumstance but not caught up in it. We can use it as an opportunity to remain out of our thinking and feeling about it and not caught up in excitement or negative emotion about it.

All things can become the perfect opportunity to still yourself, to watch your mind, to see what is going on within you about what is going on around you. We can use it to pull back from getting caught up in whats going on around us, become still and quiet even as chaos or boisterous activity surrounds us. Indeed, whenever we are forced by life circumstance to be at the "Cabaret" we can use it as practice to be still and mindful. In this way we can be anywhere, under any circumstance, and at the same time be fully present and fully self-contained. In this way we learn to always hold our Peace.

Multi-Racial Unions In The Extreme

2008-05-31T07:35:00.004-04:00

I read an article recently that stated that there is a rise of inter-racial marriages in the US. Although there is no sin in inter-racial marriages, no ethical or moral prohibition against such marriages, I am still left to ponder the wide scale results of such marriages if it were suddenly the case that everybody everywhere were to do it.

I awoke this morning to the glorious sound of numerous birds greeting the new day with beautiful song. Each species has its own unique melody. Each has it own unique attributes. No two species of bird are the same. All are birds to be sure, but each has its own colors, form, behavior and song. There are thousands of species of bird and each is an expression of a limitless creative genius.

Now I understand that it is possible that birds species could cross breed if they were somehow moved to do so, but it is something that rarely, if ever happens in nature. Each is programmed to breed with its own thus preserving the uniqueness of the species. If there were suddenly to be a massive cross breeding within the bird kingdom the uniqueness of each individual species would ultimately be watered down and made muddy brown as happens when we mix all the primary colors together.

It seems to me that although there have been beautiful babies made as a result of cross-race unions, in the end the question comes down to whether we want to preserve the races as they are, or lose the beautiful uniqueness of each race. Personally, I love the uniqueness and variety of the birds in my yard. The diversity of color and song are magical. It would become boring to observe the same brown bird singing the same song where ever I went in the world.

The Two Aspects of Forgiveness

2008-05-26T17:32:00.006-04:00

Recently I was in on a discussion about Senator Ted Kennedy and his recent diagnosis with brain cancer. This kind of cancer, I am told, leads to fairly certain death, usually within a year. The discussion lead to his involvement in the 1969 Chappaquiddick incident in which Kennedy drove his car off a bridge late one night and his lone occupant, young Mary Jo Kopechne, was drown. Kennedy, for various stated reasons, some very suspect, did not report the accident until the next day and only after discovering that the police had been alerted to the car in the water before Kennedy could inform them. The incident sunk Kennedy's chances of ever being President, and left lingering animosity and suspicion in some that Kennedy had literally gotten a way with murder.

During the conversation someone said that they thought that no matter what the truth of the matter was Kennedy spent the rest of his life making up for the incident by his dogged defense of the poor and championship of the underprivileged. His life, they said, had been an expiation of his youthful error and that he should be forgiven. This is where my ears really perked up for that was an interesting point. Forgiveness indeed should be extended to all who err, I said, "but there is a right way to forgive, and there is a wrong way."

I went on to explain that there are actually two aspects of forgiveness. One aspect is universal, and the other conditional. Allow me to explain. We are to universally forgive everyone. This means that we are to not hate, resent, bear angry grudge against or emotional judge anyone. For this reason Jesus showed us this universal example when being nailed to the cross saying "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do". He said this because people who "sin" are not in their right mind, are under the influence of compulsion, and therefore can not be "hated" for what they do, for it is not "them" who do it, but "sin" that has made a home in them that does the "sinning".

The second aspect of forgiving others in the conditional aspect. Just because we do not hate or resent those that do us, or society wrong, this does not mean that we are to have a normal relationship with them. We do not go fishing with the person who has stolen our car, nor should we vote for any person for political office who has done wrong and has not owned up to the error. How we relate to those who do wrong is conditional. Those that truly repent are to be brought back into the fold. We forget their error and move on as if it never happened. But if we have ordinary relationship with the unrepentant we only encourage the error in them and enable the idea that "murder can be gotten away with". By not holding the errant accountable we help to keep the truth hidden and while enabling the lie to flourish in the place where truth should be. Human beings are meant to be noble and upright beings but human beings are also imperfect. Perfection is a matter of learning from ones mistakes, this allows the arising of perfection from imperfection. Forgiveness is a two edged sword. It can build up character or it can bring it down. Often the outcome of error depends upon the wisdom and love of those who have been offended how the errant will survive themselves.

The Original Star Spangled Banner

2008-05-25T21:04:00.006-04:00

War of 1812 - Original Ft. McHenry Flag

Memorial Day - Remembering True Patriots

Knowing What You Don't Know

2008-05-17T10:36:00.006-04:00

Sure signs of overcoming the ego is knowing what you don't know and knowing when you are wrong. Knowing when you don't know something is a real blessing and a sign of spiritual maturity...especially when it comes to trying to understand what motivates others. Knowing what you can't possible know is wisdom because it allows one to "watch" with an open mind until they you can see what is up. Some things can never be known and it is wise to know this too. Since the ego is a know-it-all and never wrong it is a most healthy sign when you can see your wrong and admit it. Assumptions, denial, inability to acknowledge wrong (at least to ones self) are all indicators of an active ego the Watcher Self has identified with.

Objectivity Is A Spiritual Muscle

2008-05-15T06:53:00.011-04:00

The ability to become objective to your thinking mind is a spiritual muscle that grows with exercise. When I went to the gym to lift weights last year for the first time in many many years I did not leave the gym with any obvious gain. My muscles did not show the slightest sign of growing strength but the process of growing strength and tone had begun. How do I know? Because eventually I would come to see the improvement. The continuing exercise accumulated and the results began to show up.

Exercising objectivity to your mind is spiritual exercise that does not usually appear to show any meaningful improvement at first, but with continued exercising the benefits accumulate and one day you will discover that you are gaining control over morbid or incessant thinking and feeling and have developed growing ability to control your emotions and thinking so that you respond less and less to the thoughts and thinking you do not agree with, and more and more to what you know to be right.

In his book "A New Earth" Eckhart Tolle points out a couple of wonderful little spiritual exercises that I have recently begun to incorporate into my daily life with wonderful results. He speaks of God as silence and stillness, which many of us know already, but he also speaks of God as the "no thing" out of which all form, all material things come. For example, sound could not be but for the silence...the "no sound" that surrounds it. A room could not be but for the space, the "nothingness" that allows the room and its contents to be.

So here are the little meditations one can incorporate into ones daily life that will help you grow in ability to come out of your mind and grow more into the Aware Self you are meant to be. I will tell you about them by way of example. This morning, when I awoke and began to look at my mind as is my practice, I also began to listen to the morning birds singing. And what I began to notice was the silence between the notes...the space between the refrains the birds sing. Birds sing a kind of melody of notes, then silence, then more song and if one pays attention to the silences between the notes one finds oneself very quiet and still within as you pay attention to the silence without. You can not be aware of silence and be in your thoughts at the same time.

Also, in the same way that one can be aware of silence, one can also become aware of the space between things. I do this often at the gym while on the stair climber, but it can be done anywhere and at anytime. At the gym I tend to look around with big room whirling with machinery and people exercising, but I pay attention more to the big open space the machines and people are in. I look at the distance of space between the walls, between the machines, between the TV's on the wall, between the huge hanging ceiling lights, between all the people inside the room. I look at the space between my eyes and the digital read-out of the machine I'm on. I look outside the big windows into the sky and see the space that makes the building possible, the space between the building and the trees, between the branches of the trees. And again, like listening to the silence between noises, one finds that one can not be in ones thoughts and be aware of space, the nothing out of which all things have existence, at the same time. And what ones find in meditating like this, in entering the space and silence outside and between thought, is a marvelous imperturbable, quiet peace and joy that grows in direct proportion to the accumulated objectivity to mind regular spiritual exercise develops. Now how beautiful is that?

How Thinking Distorts Perception

2008-05-07T10:37:00.004-04:00

Man: Do we see things accurately? Emotion biases perception. It magnifies some things and minimizes others. Even if I am in the moment, I believe there is a background of stored or recorded emotion and emotion based conclusions that will influence what I see.

Rick: Perception, when we are calm enough to perceive it, is always pure, but most people do not remain calm/centered upon perceiving something. There is all but no gap between perception and taking to thought about what they just observed.

Perception is of the moment, but taking to thought is where we abandon the present moment because as we dwell on thought about the moment that just happened we stay in the past and are lost to the next present moment where informative Reality lives.

Here, now caught up in the past, we are cut off from new perception and/or intuition that might otherwise have informed us if we had a need to know and had not looked to inferior/flawed mental thought, to the now past for that information. This is why/where we can rightly see something at first, but then get things so very wrong afterwards.

The Intelligence of Natural Medicine

2008-05-01T10:09:00.008-04:00

Foxglove (Digitalis purpurea)

In my last article I was discussing the natural versus the man-made in the production of food and medicine. In a continuation of that examination here is a clear example of the superiority of the natural versus the man-made I have recently learned. Let's take a look at natural foxglove or digitalis versus man-made Digoxin, a medicine synthesized from the natural.

But before I begin let me just warn that no medicine, natural or otherwise, should be taken without the advice of persons knowledgeable about such things. Failure to understand what you are taking, and any interactions with other medicines you already may take, can be deadly.

From the website: "http://www.botgard.ucla.edu/html/botanytextbooks/economicbotany/Digitalis/index.html
"Unlike many medicinal plants, which have a long history of uses, foxglove (Digitalis purpurea) was not an important medicine until the late 18th century. In 1776, William Withering was a physician with a large country practice in England. A lady was dying from a disease called dropsy, or edema, in which liquids accumulate in the body and cause swelling of tissues and body cavities. He left her, expecting her to die shortly, but he later learned that she had recovered after taking an old cure of a garden plant called foxglove....Digitalis is very toxic and fatal with an overdose, so its potency was measured very carefully against an unusual standard...Digitoxin (the man-made synthesis of natural digitalis) is a stimulant that improves heart tone and rhythm, which then improves circulation...This then slows heart rate and also reduces heart size, which lessens myocardial oxygen demand. Digoxin is used instead of crude extracts of foxglove leaves because it has a short half-life in the body and is, therefore, easier to treat for toxicity. Digitalis is not now universally accepted for treatment of heart disease."

Now for the rest of the story. As the article said, foxglove, used in excess is toxic and can kill, but then again so can the man-made synthetic Digoxin. (http://www.medicinenet.com/digoxin/article.htm) Both the natural and the man-made used in excess can actually cause a heart attack and kill you. But the interesting thing is that natural foxglove will give you a warning before that point. It will create a headache and cause you to vomit when you have taken too much. It may even make your heart begin to race, all clear signs of nearing toxic levels doses. It is a clear warning to back off because you've taken more than you should. But, interestingly, with Digoxin there will be no such pre-warnings for nearing toxic levels. If you have taken too much you will know it only when you have the heart attack. That seems to me to show a kind of natural, built in intelligence factor in foxglove that is lacking in the man-made.

Over and over again we see that there is an intelligence of sorts contained in naturally growing herbs. Many herbs are, for example, naturally amphoteric. That mean that some herbs, such as hawthorn berry, will bring intelligent balance to your system. If you have high blood pressure it will lower it, if you have low blood pressure, it will raise it. So, on the face of it it seems to me that yes, man can synthesis and standardize naturally growing products, but at a cost. In the case, at least, the making of Digoxin causes the natural ability of the foxglove herb to warn you of taking too much is lost, and at a very high cost. And in this case, at least, I would have to say that the natural is a superior in that it will "talk" to you about its potent side effects, even as it keeps you take care of your heart. This is something that the man-made seems incapable of doing.

The Magic Of Herbs

2008-04-29T14:22:00.002-04:00

I am a week away from finishing up my Herbal Pharmacology class…one of a number of classes I must take if I am to receive the certification in healing arts that I working towards. I knew little about herbs prior to taking this class. What I did know was in the form of negative biased opinion…the result of the various new age nut cases or old hippies I’ve known. They were, for the most part, so off the wall in their thinking and life-styles that I assumed, wrongly as it turns out, that what they had to say about herbs were just as off the wall.

But no sooner had the class started did I begin to realized the genuine magic that is contained within many growing things that God designed and caused to grow across the face of the earth. And in retrospect that would only make sense. All naturally growing food from the ground is natural medicine. Freshly grown herbs, fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts and legumes provide us with all that we need to live and grow in natural health and well being.

I also realized that many of us are unhealthy. Most of humanity eats highly processed, man made foods and cholesterol producing animal products in far greater amounts than we should, and in quantities far in excess of the natural foods God has given us. Processed sugar based products are eaten with far greater frequency than naturally sweet fruits. And when we do eat naturally grown fruits and vegetables they are usually processed with added sugars or cooked all to heck killing all the live enzymes and nutrients making them just as nutritional dead as the other man made products. All of this horrendous eating has lead to disease and poor health, and the rise of giant pharmaceutical companies to fix the problems our poor eating habits have wrought.

One of the first realizations I had regarding the magical, medicinal properties I became convinced were contained in the numerous herbs and plants that grow upon the earth was this; God knew that the moment we were kicked out of Paradise and were left to depend upon our unenlightened minds for survival, we would soon wreak havoc upon our mind and bodies from ignorance and misuse of our appetites and cravings. And as a good Father, he would not leave us completely defenseless in our ills. He would see to it that there were ways to heal and recover from the self inflicted ills that lack of common sense would bring upon us. As He made plans for the redemption of our souls, He made a way possible for the redemption of our sick bodies as well.

Herbs are indeed truly magical things. It is no surprise that man still sends investigators deep into the Amazon and other primeval places on earth in search of magic herbs. Many of today’s man-made pills and formula have their beginnings in Gods own medicines. So the question becomes which is better; the original or the processed man-made product? Perhaps we could look at the question from a slightly different angle. Let’s ask this. Which is better; a bowl of fresh pineapple, banana and strawberries or pineapple, banana and strawberry flavored jello? Personally I am of the growing opinion that the pure, unadulterated, alive and natural is almost always superior to the processed but nutritional dead man-made product. Can we say the same for medicinal products? I suspect that the principle applies, but stay tuned…more on herbal pharmacology as I learn more.

Grasping The Eternal

2008-04-20T10:16:00.002-04:00

When I was a young man I one day attempted to consider a doctrine I was taught in my church. It stated that "God always was, and always will be". It stated that God had no beginning and has no end. In my mind I tried to grasp a hold of this idea, but a weird thing happened...my mind came to a sudden stop with the sensation of electrical wirings overloading and frying...it rather hurt my brain. The only thing missing was the smell of cooked wires.

What I learned in those few moments was that this brain of mine, this mind of mine, finite as it is, can not grasp nor comprehend the idea of an eternal God Who always was and always will be. It simply can not contain the concept without running smack into its own limitations...limitations based upon the understanding of its own birth and death. Infinity and eternity simply can not be contained within an intellectual thought process...within a materially created thing itself with a limited life span.

But, I would later learn, that their are other ways of understanding things like an eternal, infinite God that have nothing to do with the intellect. Things like realization and understanding, things that are accessible to the degree that one stands apart from the intellectual aspect of self, can reveal mysteries and marvels that the mind alone could never comprehend. "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived— these things God has prepared for those who love him" says the bible.

Enlightenment and salvation are found through transcendence of the mind, not within it. Meditate to become objective to your own mind, intellect, thoughts and feelings, and come to see what wonders await to be revealed to you. Be still and know.

A Meditation on Anger

2008-04-16T09:03:00.004-04:00

Recognising something to be right or wrong because you can see it is right or wrong is something independent of intellectual agreement or disagreement with an idea.

Beliefs can be dangerous in that if we believe but do not yet also see, we are caught up in the mind and the thinking, which keeps us hynotically involved with thought and separated from understanding which lives outside the mind.

I can only truly agree that anger is wrong when I "see" its actual distructive affect in me and on others, and I find myself no longer in agreement with it. This "seeing" can lead to repentance, to being sorry for acting out on my anger...that is if I do not get angry with the "seeing" of my anger.

Until I "see" and by seeing come to "understand" angers actual negative effects, until I see the real damage that it does, the real hurt that it causes, it is only an abstract belief that does me no good whether I believe or disbelieve that anger is wrong.

Belief alone can not change behavior...not a genuine, lasting change anyway. Only understanding can affect a real lasting change with no turning back...like a catepillar to a butterfly.

Drive-by Criticizers

2008-04-14T10:39:00.005-04:00

Did you ever notice that some people just love to criticize. Now don't get me wrong, it is important to point out fault in another, at the right time and in a right way. This is a part of love. Would you not tell your friend who's going to a job interview that his fly was open and that he had bad breath? A part of being a loving friend is to tell the truth that others may not want to hear, but need to hear. A real friend will thank you for it.

But criticism can come in two ways. One, as mentioned above, can come from love. The other, can come from the need to knock a person down. I call this drive-by criticism. This kind of criticism has no love in it. It is not designed to help you in anyway, but rather has a need to hurt or put down so that the criticizer can feel superior. There is no real concern for your welfare in this case. When pressed, the criticizer shows no interest in helping you understand the criticism.

But, either way, if you remain calm and detached, you will see the truth behind all criticism. You can benefit from all criticism whether or not the person has your best interests at heart. For this reason it is possible to learn from your enemy, even if it is to see where he is coming from. But the key is in remaining objective to the criticizer, and in not resenting whatever is said. Sometimes, in this way, you can learn from the ill delivered criticism and drive the ill motivated criticizer up a wall as he watches you get better in spite of his intent. But again, in any case, do not resist angrily anything anyone tells you, and you will always be better for the experience, whether what they say is true or not, and in spite of their intentions. Try it...you'll like it.

Judging Others...or Calling The Kettle Black

2008-04-10T13:12:00.009-04:00

Today I watched a little situation in a parking lot. Three cars doing their thing converged into a momentary meeting. One car was backing out from a parking space, another was attempting to leave the small crowed parking lot, and the third was coming into the parking lot from the street. All were obliged to stop in their tracks as each would have run into the other if they had continued, which brought up the issue of who would go first to untangle the little log jam.

Each person, whose face I could see, were both perplexed and frustrated by this unexpected encumbrance. Finally, one gentleman decided that if he got himself out of the way he would solve the problem, but in order to do that he had to back up very close to the car that was coming in from the street. That in turn scared the female driver of that car, and she in turn tried to drive around the front of the man backing up almost hitting the car waiting to leave causing it to have to back up. Finally, they all did a little shuffle, figured it out and in a few moments everyone was off to do whatever they were off to do...but not without each first giving off a contemptuous look at the other...a sign of resentment at the momentary imposition, a lack of graciousness, and evidence of the inability to accept the "what is", a sure sign of the "ego at work".

What struck me in observing this little scene play out before my eyes was that fact that each of these "egos" were all "guilty" of the same thing. All were obviously unconscious to their Real Self. All were cut off from the Ground of their Being where Common Sense and Graciousness live. Each was lost in the matrix of the mind, unable to extend patience or ability to forgive in the moment, evidenced by their irritation at the situation they jointly confronted. Yet each cast blame, looking to the other as being at fault as an ego is want to do. An ego, unable to deal graciously with a situation, must never look at its own lack of graciousness, or any other lack, and so must, in order to preserve itself intact, project fault upon another.

But how silly this all is. Egos judging egos so as not to see its own fault. It is truly a case of the kettle calling the pot black. It is like a thief judging another for being a thief. No wonder all the great Teachers exhorted us to forgive our neighbor and to "judge not". Better to drop resentment against our neighbor if we ever hope to escape our own ego conditioning, and find this thing called salvation.

The Laying On Of Hands

2008-04-09T11:19:00.006-04:00

I am taking some classes for a Wellness program I have enrolled in. Part of that program required me to take Reiki, a Japanese healing technique that uses the laying on of hands, over the body, to impart healing to the person receiving it. As I also said before, I know that there is power in touch, the laying on of hands, if God is behind it. Jesus did it all the time. But I have seen no evidence that this gift can be acquired through the taking of some class, by just anyone. Therefore I consider this class a "hoop" that I must jump through to get me to the finish line of this program.

Tuesday night I and two other students were in a live Reiki Clinic for hands on experience...pardon the pun. We were assigned to an experienced "healer" and helped with the treatment of "patients". The room was darkened and soft zen-ish music played quietly in the room. There were eight beds, eight "healers" and the three of us students. At 7:30 the first group of "patients" arrived for their hour long treatment. There would be two sessions in total. That means I would assist in the treatment of two different "patients"

I was in a meditative state and centered as I began, and was most interested to observe what would happen over the next two hours. There were many observations, some involving the hynotic effect of what was happening, some involved observing the primal need to return as little children, to be touched by "mother" and "father". The need for the attention. And even the interesting observation, that many would fall asleep (several snored) during "treatment" as if being cradled in the arms of thier mother, or having been just tucked into bed by father. It was all very interesting and I could write alot about it, but for now I just want to focus on my personal experience with this.

I was never much of a toucher in my life. I loved my children, of course, but never found much of a need for personal affection nor for giving it, except to the little ones. Well,there was one exception, during the need for sex, I could be very passionate, but the minute it was over I once again became my aloof self. Much grief and confusion arose from this, for me and for my "lovers", but that is another story for another day.

When I worked in the hospital many years ago I would marvel at the nurses who would clean up the horrible wounds, disgusting and smelly mess, and in one case even maggots coming out of the orifice's of a near dead homeless man. Over the years I would see countless examples of such things. As a 20 something, even as a police officer, I just knew that I couldn't do that kind of thing, it repulsed me badly, and I hoped that I would never be called upon to give mouth-to-mouth to anyone. I was afraid that I might have to let someone die rather than touch an unclean thing. But also, being a bit of a christian then too, I knew that Jesus had touched lepers, that He could see beyond the surface to reach out and touch the inner child that was hidden inside the disfigured outer body. I was ashamed at my repulsion of sinners, but what could I do?

Tuesday night I worked on two people. Both were senior citizens, one was very fat with serious hip issues. The other was not so fat, and had leg and ankle issues. The "treatment" consists of the laying of hands on the body in a certain patterns and holding that position for about 5 minutes. I was assigned to treating the front torso of the overweight older woman. I would have to lay my hands everywhere but her breast and private areas.

And as I did so, I could feel the effects of her sin. I knew her grotesque layers of fat over her skeleton were the result of a life time of being lost and cut off from her True Self, and her weight issues were a compensation for the deep anxiety her soul feels at being so far away from Home. I knew that her very weakened hips were the result of eating all the wrong things and not exercising, these being the result of being cut off from her Common Sense and the Power to do the right thing. She was truly lost and suffering for it. I knew that if she continues in this manner, she will die horribly.

As I looked around the room, I saw that everyone there was not who they were meant to be. I saw everyone looking, searching, for love, in giving the treatment, in accepting the treatment, and all were looking in all the wrong places. The ego always searches for its salvation in the outer, material world. And I saw that all were lost children, belonging to the Father and very lost far away from home. I was a bit sad for them.

As I gave the treatment to the two ladies, a treatment, as I said, I am doubtful of in general, I offered a silent prayer instead. Father, these are yours, lost as they are in grotesque bodies made horrible by sin, yet within each is your child. May they find the way home.

All in all, it was a quiet, dignified two hours. I meditated through it. I stayed in the moment and watched all that occured. I completed my class requirement and then left. But I am grateful to learn that I am no longer repulsed by sinners...that I am able to see beyond the outer form of them. Perhaps I found there an unexpected healing for myself.

Video: Understanding Culture

2008-04-07T13:28:00.000-04:00

Rick speaks on the nature of culture

Video: "Grace - A Point of Departure"

2008-04-05T18:57:00.004-04:00

Rick speaks on the nature of Grace

A New Bumper Sticker

2008-04-03T09:24:00.003-04:00

No Thought - No Mind - No Self

2008-04-01T07:13:00.002-04:00

Man: "Since there is no thought and no mind and no self, what is it that needs God?"

That is not exactly the right question.

The right question is what remains if there is no thought, no mind and no self?

The "Watcher" of thought, mind and self is what remains, and it is already one with Gods Light. It has no need because it already has all that it needs.

This is the state Jesus referred to when He said He and His Father were one, and it is the state Adam fell from, a oneness we must return to.

The watcher of thought, mind and self is one with the Light, for by It it sees.

All identitification with thought, mind or self is what comprises and holds together the ego, a separate but illusuary self that believes itself something apart from God but is really nothing, the no-self.

When the ego is watched, it dissolves into the nothingness it really is.

The only place in creation where God is not is hell. And the mind that sees itself as a self separate from God lives in its own hell.

This is the evil, the hell within us we must come to see through and overcome.

This is why great teachers teach us to come out of our thinking mind and teach us to become again the watcher of mind.

This too is what Jesus meant by telling us we need to be born again, to return to the state of a little child.

Children, at first, have no other identity but that of the watcher until the world begins to instill it's ideas and culture into him, which is the birth of ego, the birth of a "mind" separate from God, and this is the "self" we must die to, for all that is separate from God remains evil, and by default remains in hell.

Except a man die to his thinking mind, his "self", and is born again to his orginal watcher status, he can not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Going Out Of My Mind

2008-03-30T09:38:00.005-04:00

As I walked the beach that day last year I had a sudden remembrance of being 8 months old, standing by the rail of my crib and looking out into the world for the first time and wondering about it all.

It was a warm spring or early summer day, the windows were open, the sheer curtains blowing in a warm, gentle breeze, the sun was shining brightly and the birds were singing. I was alone in the room. I wondered what is this place? who am I? and what is that wierd stain on the linoleum floor? But, and this is a BIG but, I wondered all these things without a single word in my head.

I had no voice thoughts because I had yet to learn any words. No words, no concepts, not a single voice thought in my head, but I did have wonderment and realization. I realized I existed and I wondered about it. I was pure consciousness, pure awareness. That is who I was at that moment and nothing more. My culture had yet to implant an identity into me but I would eventually fall from that state of pure awareness to become a good New England boy and all that that meant. Yet, if at that moment you had taken me to France, I would have become French, to think in French, to believe as a Frenchman, to be all things French. or if in that moment instead you took me to South America and put me in a pygmy tribe, I would be living, thinking and speaking pygmy, I might even be out blowing poison darts at monkeys for supper instead of writing this. All of this is to say that I have come to realize that who we "think" we are is a huge part of our problem.

We must come back to the place of being the watcher, of being awareness itself and disconnect from our thinking mind and ALL of our thoughts if we are ever to become as little children again...to become the watcher of thought and the world around us...to return to being awareness itself. That is our original identity, that is who we really are.

This realization has sparked something unexplainable in me. except to say, that I am learning to be "out of my mind" and in the here and now where thought and thinking can not be at the same time, more and more, In that moment of realization last year I was graced to "feel" once again what/where that place within me is...my center of being, and am able to come back to it more and more easily in my daily life, in the battle to stay in the present moment and out of my mind.

Blessing the Enemy and The Joy of Being

2008-03-29T19:06:00.013-04:00

As I was walking through the produce section of my local supermarket today, I suddenly realized that I had been caught up in thought and came back to the present moment. I have done this thousands of times, being lost in thought and coming to the present moment, but somehow this time was new, and as if for the first time.

I suddenly became vividly conscious of where I was, what I was doing and aware of everything around me; aisles of bright and beautiful produce and fruit, the aroma of fresh baked bread, others busily shopping, the assortment of noises, voices, wheeling carts. It was all so clean, bright and beautiful and I had a knowing that everything was exactly as it should be. I was overtaken by a deep feeling of joy, and I burst out in a laugh right there and then. I couldn't contain it.

The other day I was working with someone I occasionally have to work with. Now this semi-retired older guy is the kind of guy who loves to talk about his medical issues; operations he has had, operations he is going to have, or the ills he suffers with. For example, he never simply states he needs a break to eat lunch or a snack, he uses it as an opportunity to tell you about his low blood sugar issues, diabetes and his entire medical history...over and over and over again.

He worked thirty years in a hospital, but since retiring he has had countless operations in the same hospital and, always, it seems, has another operation coming up for a new condition or problem. It is plain that he is conditioned to find identity and purpose, as well as to look for sympathy and attention, his ego needs, from being ill, or in need of a medical procedure.

Most people make a hasty exit when he comes near, for they know what is coming. If he gets your ear, he will suck you dry of any sympathy he can get, even if it is only lip service. In the past I would listen politely, give a word or two, mainly about proper eating, etc and move on to the business at hand. But this week, for the first time, he had me trapped. I could not escape. So I decided to use the opportunity to practice accepting "what is" without resistance to it.

I decided to see what would happen if I gave him my full attention willingly. Nothing else would matter but watching and listening to him fully in the present moment, without thought, without reservation, without judgment, without looking for escape. And so I was fully there for him, watching and listening intently to every word he had to say, and soon a remarkable thing began to happen. As he began to experience what it was like for someone to truly give him the attention he so longs for it began to frighten him, overwhelm him. To my surprise his face began to show puzzlement and even a hint of fear. He slowly backed away and made his own hasty exit, leaving me amazed, in wonderment at what had just happened and with an unexpected and inexplictable inner joy.

What I later realized was that the "presence in the present" was too overwhelming for him, perhaps because he never experienced someone paying full attention to him, and perhaps because his ego was being exposed, and became fearful of that exposure. But whatever the reason, he encountered something new, and he did not know what to do with it, so he just fled. I was quietly amused at this unexpected turn of events and could only chuckle and smile as I watched him flee as if he's seen a ghost.

I suspect that what his ego knows is that when he looks for attention from others, he will never really get it, because they are all secretly judging or resenting his imposition. His ego is experienced as a vampirish suck and is resented by most. But his ego is OK with that because he gets to secretly judge the "suckee" in return for their phony kindness or irritation others have with him. In any case, his ego gets the judgment food it needs to survive. Negative attention, after all, is attention, and is more tolerable than no attention at all.

But this time, perhaps for the first time in his life, someone willingly gave him full and undivided attention without resistance or resentment, and his ego, finding nothing to judge, and shown up in the light, became frightened by its reflection in the mirror of non-resistance. My hope is that he will have seen and experienced something greater than his ego that will awaken a longing for it in himself one day.

Every Prisoner Was Once A Child

2008-03-22T12:06:00.006-04:00

There are billions of emotionally and psychologically troubled people in this world, but they all began as little children, and little children are very rarely born with emotional or psychological problems.

Children, for the most part, are born with a blank slate. Being raised with the rare and true quality of love, which embodies patience, understanding and kindness, gives children a real fighting chance to off-set the tremendous pressure to conform to the craziness imposed by the world outside the home.

But if the parents are as mad as the outside world, what chance does a child have?

Some children are weak in constitution and will simply conform. Most die that way, except for a few lucky ones. The brighter souls rebel at the imposition though they almost always fail to be creative in the rebellion, and so end up just as crazy, mad, impatient and violent as the object of the rebellion in spite of not wanting to be. The jails and mental institutions are filled with these, though most are doomed to life in the jail cell of their thinking mind.

But teach the conformist or the rebel two things and they can recover. Stop resenting the madness seen around them, because resentment is the singular most dangerous emotion that makes you just as mad, crazy and violent as what you resent. You must also come to see how who you have become identified with is an impostor self implanted within you, mainly by your resentment, which displaced the real you.

Resentment opens the portal of your mind and allows infection and infestation to enter in. That is how evil works, it tempts you to hate it, and when you do it gets inside you and grows up in you. It is for this reason that Jesus said "do not hate your enemy, overcome them with good" He was warning you about not opening your mind to evil, which is exactly what resentment does.

Through resentment you have grown up to become like the very thing you hated outside yourself, but drop resentment and learn to be still, learn to watch your reactions to people, places and things, and the power of self observation will begin to separate you from your imposed conditioning. In this way, you will recover from that conditioning and grow into the self you were meant to be.

Your connection to the love within was lost through negative reaction to things outside yourself. But, and this is the good news, love is restored within as you drop negative reaction to things . At this moment, stop looking outside yourself for anything; not for love, not for understanding. The only thing truly meaningful is found within you; in the quiet stillness between your thoughts. Watch your thoughts often and always cultivate the stillness between them. Allow the stillness to grow and in this way you will reconnect with Love, even as you disconnect from the imposed conditioned self you were never meant to be. Seek and you will find when you do, your life will change for the better and will unfold and flower from within into the self you were always meant to be.

Are You Out Of Your Mind?

2008-03-20T12:34:00.005-04:00

In the movie "The Peaceful Warrior" there is a scene where young Dan Millman is suddenly tossed into a small river. He comes flying out of the water, mad as a hatter, and angrily demanded of Socrates "Are you out of your mind!!??" Paraphrased, Socrates says "Yes, I am out of my mind and it has taken me a lifetime to get there, and it is where I am trying to get you." And then he added "When I tossed you into the river, in that moment, you were fully present in the here and now, and out of your mind"

The scene points out the fundamental problem with mankind and suggests that all of our problems stem from one thing; being stuck in our heads, in our minds and therefore not fully available to participate in the here and now.

An objective look at the average human being clearly shows that they are caught up in the in the mental dialogue in their head, and therefore not available to be completely aware of the present moment. Today, at the wholesale club I joined, I watched the young lady behind the counter as she went through the computerized process of signing me up as a new member. Her face revealed everything that was going on in her head. It fluctuated between a perfunctory greeting and sales pitch to a furrowed brow at some irritating computer problem that crop up, to letting go the frustration as she seemed to find a solution, then back to annoyance at the return of the problem, which amplified at the need to call a superior to come and override something, to a judgmental, ego inflating gloat when the superior got a bit stuck herself. Her attitude then turned to a suppressed, controlled impatience at the overall though momentary "stuckness" of the situation, revealing an inability to accept what is with grace, and finally coming to a relative "joy" at having things back under control and a return of the ability, once again, to move along as a quickly as possible to get me off her "to do list" and move on to the next thing. This poor young woman was at the mercy of every thought, and every emotion within her during those few moments I shared space with her.

I am certain that if I quizzed her, she could not, with her attention so absorbed within her head, have told me what else was happening in the store around her. I am certain she was oblivious to all the other sounds and dialogue in the store, the announcements on the PA, the ringing telephones, the hum of the copy machine, and certainly didn't even notice the supervisor's habit of scratching her nose in frustration while trying to figure out the problem on the computer screen.

The other day as I was walking into the supermarket I observed a man coming out of the place with his lips intently moving as if in conversation. As he came closer it became obvious that he was indeed having a full blown conversation...with himself. I am not sure if more and more people than ever are lost in their head, or if I am waking up more to see what has always there, but whatever the case, it is apparent that there is a madness within us, and about us, that nobody is talking about. Humanity is in the grip of slavery, to a constant running dialogue in the head, robbing them of full awareness and keeping them from fully participating in the present moment.

Are people out of their minds? Indeed not, all but the few it seems, are quite stuck within their minds, making us all, ironically, quite mad. But learn the art of watching your thoughts, your thinking, your emotions, your reactions to things and circumstance, and you will slowly but surely go out of your mind, which is quite a good thing indeed.

The Aware Watcher

2008-03-09T10:37:00.008-04:00

Awareness and God are not two separate things.

Awareness/consciousness is our true identity, it is our birthright.

When we are born all we have is awareness/consciousness, no other identity are we born with.

It is the essence behind the eyes of the littlest children who look out into the world for the first time and ponders its existence.

It is what ponders without words or concepts having learned none yet.

The Watcher is pure and virginal awareness/consciousness.

But immediately the world conspires to kill/suppress this "Self", and works very hard to implant its own culturally induced sense of "self".

Under assault we soon forget that we are the Watcher, and begin to identify with a worldly implanted sense of "self".

It is this "ego self" we come to think of as who we are, and are in conflict with.

It is this externally implanted false self that we will defend to the death rather than see through it.

But see through it we must if we are to lay down the ego life to find the spiritual self...to return to the Watcher state of Being.

Our true identity is awareness/consciousness, we are one with it, and must realize this if we are to be born again to it.

We meditate to separate from thought, to relearn to be the Watcher of thought, and the Watcher of the world around us.

Any sense of self apart from that of the Watcher is the lie, and is what keeps us from returning as little children to what we lost soon after birth.

Oneness with awareness/consciousness, is who we are, and is our only true identity, just as it was Jesus' true identity.

For this reason Jesus said the following:

"I and my Father are one"

"Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?"

"And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are."

New Wine and Old Wineskins

2008-03-07T19:14:00.002-05:00

“No one patches an old cloak with a piece of unshrunken cloth, for its fullness pulls away from the cloak and the tear gets worse. People do not put new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the skins burst, the wine spills out, and the skins are ruined.”

The above parable speaks to the fact that some things do not mix. The unshrunken cloth used to patch a hole in an old cloak will eventually shrink and make a bigger hole than was there before it was applied. The new wine skins, animal skins formed to make a leather container for wine, are pliable and soft, and will expand with the gases released in the fermentation of the new wine. Together they will accommodate each other, but new wine put into an old skin, already stretched and aged, will burst as the wine gases expand, causing the loss of both.

The principle of incompatibility is the lesson of the parable but it speaks not only to the laws of physics, but also to the law of metaphysics. It speaks of the incompatibility of the spiritual and the non-spiritual. For example, awareness and ego are two diametrically opposed entities. One is ethereal and timeless; the other is earthy, material and falls apart at the grave. Awareness can observe the ego, but the ego can not observe awareness, for the minute that it does, ego dies and awareness comes into being. And being intelligent, the ego does not want to die and seeks survival at all costs. That is why it clings to the intellect full of its facts and figures, its judgments and pronouncements that form its basic structure.

The ego can learn what awareness knows, but it can not know what it has learned. Knowledge is the elixir of life to the ego, but knowledge about something is not the same as understanding, the essence of awareness. Knowledge is acquired information while understanding is the realization gain by personal experience. When understanding comes, knowledge ceases. For example, you can learn from the mouth or hand of another all about the fragrance of the amazing, exotic moonflower which opens it petals only at night, but until you inhale its wondrous fragrance for yourself, you can never really know what it is like. It will always be just information and no amount of information will give you understanding. Information, knowledge sucked up from third party sources, is the substance of ego. Personal experience is the substance of understanding. This hold true of spiritual principles as well. There is much information about what life is like without an ego, or even what life is like as the ego dies, but no amount of information can deliver the experience to you. Even with all your thinking and imagination, you will always be speculating, that is, until you experience it for yourself.

The ego thrives and survives on information but if realization and understanding were to suddenly “occur” to the ego, the ego would cease to exist as awareness came to life. It would burst and disintegrate into the nothingness it was all along, even as personal understanding came into being. This is why neither truth nor ego are compatible. Truth and ego are mutually nullifying. Truth can be learned by the ego, but it can not be understood by the ego. Truth is realized and experienced and when this happens, knowledge and ego die, as realization and awareness arise where ego once stood.

The Key That Unlocks Peace and Happiness

2008-03-03T13:46:00.005-05:00

Krishnamurti, the Indian spiritual leader, getting along in years, once asked "Do you want to know my secret?". He answered his surprised audience "I do not mind what happens". How many understand this statement? It contains within it the beginning and end of all emotional suffering.

That ability to accept "what is"...to accept whatever the current reality in ones life is...without resistance to it, is the pathway to peace and happiness that all the great spiritual leaders over the ages have pointed to. The bible says it this way; "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds"

I know a lady whose "lover" died before the relationship was consummated. He died several years ago, but the pain and agony of a "lost love" continues to consume the woman all these years later, robbing her of peace and happiness. Resistance to the facts...failure to accept his death and let him go and failure to make peace with the reality of the situation, are keeping her in lingering inner turmoil and emotional pain. The resistance to accept "what is" prevents her from regaining inner peace and experiencing love in the present moment. She clings to a dead relationship, actually she clings to the "idea" of a relatioship that no longer is and never will. The inability to "let go" keeps her mind/soul trapped "back there", in the illusion of a relationship that no longer exists, even as she is emotionally tortured in the present. In this way the past kills the possibilities of the present, and poisons her future, making for a miserable, ruined life.

The other side of the coin is that when one does encounter a painful happening or negative experience and puts up no resistance to it, but instead accepts the reality of the moment, uses it to see if and where the ego clings to that which it should not, the moment passes and human being emerges all the more human for it. Pain and suffering can be an embittering, calcifying experience for the ego, or, if dealt with properly, can lead to a more aware, more accepting, more understanding and more compassionate human being. Accepting "what is" leads to a deeper relationship with Reality, and all the blessings that only "oneness" with Reality can bring.

The horror and trap of the ego is that it's highest faith is in it's own thoughts and thinking. But the problem with that is that thoughts and thinking are always about past experience or some future to come, and never about the present moment, which is all we ever really have. One can not be absorbed in thinking and be in the present moment at the same time. It is virtually impossible. Yet, to live in the present moment, where Reality and its blessings are experienced, is to learn to become one with the Awareness of thought and thinking. There is no other higher possibility of true and lasting happiness and peace.

People Who Need People Are Miserable People

2008-02-22T09:55:00.013-05:00

In the book "Path to No Self" Bernadette Roberts tells how she was taught by her parents to avoid the misery that comes from "needing people". When I read that book over 25 years ago I was struck by the comment but would have to go through a number of painful relationships to come to understand the meaning of "not needing people" in the sense Roberts meant it.

It seems to me that almost everyone I have observed in life are brought up in such a way as to have a hole in the soul, so to speak, and taught to looked outside ourselves to fill it. And although it is most common to primarily look to another human being to fill the inner void, it is not only to another that we look. It can be to almost anything really; our jobs, our recreation, our pets...anything and everything can be used fill the hole of unhappiness we experience without it. But mainly, it is to another that we look for "fulfilling love".

The problem with looking outside ourselves for fulfillment is that nothing in the material world is permanent. Lovers come and go, marriages dissolve, pets die, jobs and businesses fail, boats sink and when they do, we are once again left alone and unhappy. Why? Precisely because we have depended upon the impermanent for our source of happiness. Yet when it is gone, so is our happiness. It is amazing how long it took me to understand this...how many failed relationships and how much pain it took to see what was happening. It amazes me even more that some never get it.

What I have come to learn through painful trial and error is there is nothing outside myself that can give me lasting happiness and joy. I have learned that having a true sense of purpose, of having real sense of worth and finding permanent happiness must be found within, and carried with me where ever I go. Happiness and fulfillment found in this way can never be taken from you, no matter what happens on the outside of you. The most important thing I've realized is that when we are capable of being happy and secure human beings completely unto ourselves first, then, and only then are we truly capable of being in any kind of relationship in a proper way.

All misery, it seems to me, has it roots in the human being that suck selfishly and needfully, from people, places or things, for that which it should seek to have from have within. The greatest misery of all comes when two unfulfilled, needy human beings come together with high expectations, and great emotional excitement at the promise of mutual fulfillment, only to discover in the end, that neither really had much more to give, after all, than only a promise. Great is our disappointment, and even anger, when we discover the truth that no one can give to us that which can only be found within. The preponderance of divorce and failed relationships of all kinds is evidence to this truth. Yet this truth, painful as it is, can also become the key to understanding and finding the ability to have a truly rewarding relationship with another.

Are You Living Your Own Life?

2008-02-15T18:31:00.002-05:00

Many people live their entire lives believing they are living their own lives when they are not. They act out an idea of who and what they are, but it is only an idea...a suggestion, if you will. They are other than what they were created to be. Perhaps they are a doctor or a lawyer because they were "indoctrinated" to be so starting as a little child with the "suggestion" reinforced at every turn. The variations are endless. But the truth is that they live out anothers will for them and never really have a choice in the matter. They do not live their own self-realized, self-directed lives, but rather live out anothers idea of how they should live. That is the very definition of hypnotic suggestion...acting out the will of another. These are lost, and perhaps hoplelessly lost, at least that is, until they find the truth that makes them free.

The Insecurity of Wrong Doers

2008-02-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

The sign in the sauna, steam room and shower area of my health club says that per order of the board of health shaving in any of these places is prohibited. I suspect that with HIV and other blood borne diseases the fear of a nick and bleeding is the reason behind such an order.

I was alone in the stream room when a man came in. After a short while he held up a razor and asked "Do you mind if I shave?". I said the rules prohibit it. He said "I know but if you don't want me too I won't". I said I had nothing to do with it, it was prohibited by the club. He said "OK, then I won't"

There is no doubt that if I wasn't there he would have simply shaved whatever he intended to shave :-) But this little episode points to the fact that wrong people need the approval of other wrong people to do wrong. If I gave the OK he would have been happy to break the safety rules and shaved, but because he looked to me to help him do wrong and did not get it he was disabled from doing it.

How To Overcome Evil With Good

2008-02-07T19:47:00.001-05:00

I loved the old Kung Fu TV show. In one episode Master Po said to Kwai Chang Caine "When a man comes at you with a stick there are three ways to deal with him. Run, fight him or take his stick away". The third option is fully understood by few but points to a most powerful force...the force of non-resistance to evil.

Jesus spoke of this power when He said "do not resist evil, overcome it with good". But just what exactly does this mean? Is this to mean that we should submit to evil...allow it to have its way with us? No, this is not what is meant by "resist not evil". What this is talking about is keeping emotional reactions to wickedness out of the picture. Why? Because evil, which can not stand on its own, having no power in and of itself, requires the emotional reaction of the victim to complete its purpose.

Humanly speaking, what is at one moment strong before the weak will be weak before a stronger force. A bully needs the coward to be a bully. Deny the perpetrator the emotional reaction of fear, upset or anger and he will be powerless, paralyzed from action.

Let me give an example.

Many years ago I was a friend of a lady named Susan whose husband left her for a teen age boy. She was a christian lady and was handling it pretty well. She was not ready to divorce the husband but would wait patiently to see if he would come to his senses. But in the meantime another man saw a potential opportunity to have this beautiful woman and began hitting on her.
He was supposedly a church going man but that did not stop him from calling and trying to seduce her. At first she thought he was being supportive of her situation but soon realized he wanted more...much more. But she did not know how to handle it and asked me about it. In the end I told her that she would have to tell him to not call any more and if she had to, she could say that I counseled her about this.

Well, she told him and it went over like a rabid dog getting his bone taken away. Next thing I know, I drive home one day and find him waiting by my parking spot. I can read his face...and it ain't pretty. So I jumped out of the car, said "Oh, hello there" and began unloading whatever I was unloading, tossing stuff to him to help carry to my apartment. Once in the apartment, I went to turn the air conditioner switch on and when I turned around he was standing right behind me offering his out stretched hand. I gave him mine and no sooner did I did he began to squeeze it saying "I may be bigger than you but you were in the military so I know things will be even". I said calmly "Oh, you must be mad about me telling Susan not to take your calls any more" He said "That's right, and you're gonna have to take that back" and I said matter of factly "Well, you know, I'm not going to fight you about that. If you want to kill me, go ahead, because there is no way I am taking that back. She is a married woman trying to do the right thing and you are wrong to be hitting on her. If you want to beat me up, just go ahead, do what ever you have to do, but I won't take that back".

At this, to my utter surprise, he literally reeled and stumbled backwards. I saw him go white and all strength seemingly leave his body. He barely made it to my couch when he slumped upon it. I watched in amazement. A bible verse from Romans came to mind which in part reads "Don't pay back evil with evil...don't try to get even. Don't let evil overcome you. Overcome evil by doing good. By doing those things, you will pile up burning coals on their heads." After this I made him a cup of coffee and gave him a ride home. I ever saw or heard from him again, and neither did Susan.

What I learned in that episode in my early twenties was a primary lesson about a very potent principle that would play out again at other times in my life, and in the the lives of others I was privileged to observe or read about. Whether when held hostage by a guy 3 times my size with a knife but who later surrendered to me, or the contractor taken and released in Iraq while the other hostages were killed, or the woman who read to the escaped prisoner from "A Purpose Driven Life" and was released unharmed, or the numerous stories of holocaust survivors unexpectantly saved from death, there is but one thread that connects all of these "incidents". It is the lack of emotional over-reaction, a calmness that did not resist the reality of the situation, a coolness that kept fear, upset and anger from entering the picture, a kind of attitude that gave the impression to the perpetrator that it did not care emotionally what was to happen to it that in the end overcame the wickedness of that perpetrator. This is how we take the stick away from him who would otherwise try to harm us with it. This is how we overcome evil with good.

Where Is The Common Sense?

2008-02-04T23:02:00.000-05:00

As we spoke she kept clearing her throat. Finally she apologized saying that recently she has been experiencing dryness. I asked if she was drinking plenty of water wondering if she might be dehydrated. She said she was. In fact, she said, she was a big water drinker, even having water by her bedside and taking sips through out the night. She said it was the “damn pills” that were making her dry and added that she just told her husband she wasn’t going to take them anymore. I asked what the pills were for. She said they were prescribed for an over active bladder, a polite way of saying that she urinated a lot at night. Can you see where this is going?

In one second I diagnosed her problem. It is common sense that if you put water in, water must come out. I told her to stop drinking water at night and she wouldn’t go the bathroom so much. She seemed pleasantly surprised to hear this. Why couldn’t the trained doctor figure this out? Throwing pills at problems without trying to understand the cause of the problem is a serious lack of common sense, and one that can sometimes lead to serious issues, even death. But this is not the first time I’ve seen a trained medical doctor show lack of common sense.

I once worked at a Veterans Administration medical center in law enforcement. I happened to be in the emergency room when an older mother and father brought their doubled over son in. He was in pain and feeling quite ill. Seems the son had supper with the family and then got sick shortly there after. The father said he thought it was food poisoning. The mother let on that the son had taken some aspirin for a headache just after he ate. She tried to hand the bottle of aspirin to the doctor but he wasn’t concerned. I was. I took the bottle, opened it and to my surprise found it full of black capsules. My first instinct was that it was “speed”, an amphetamine, because aspirin does not come in black capsules and I knew that “speed” did. I told this to the doctor right then and there but to my utter horror he was unconcerned and disregarded what I was trying to tell him. It was only after I called the poison control center, read them the numbers off the capsules, had them confirm that it was speed, did the doctor take notice and begin treating the man for accidental ingestion of amphetamines instead of food poisoning. But what if I hadn’t been there?

Your only defense in this world is to rely on your own common sense. Do not trust any authority just because they are an authority. Being an authority does not guarantee that they have common sense. Ask lots of questions and see how the answers square with your own understanding. If they take offence at your questioning, run for your life. A decent authority does not mind being questioned. A bad authority does. That’s just common sense.

Seeing With New Eyes

2008-02-01T09:47:00.000-05:00

A friend once told me that “salvation” is a matter of discovering and employing the right combination of principles. I think that is right on. One of the principles I want to discuss is the principle of “forgiveness”. It has been said that forgiveness is a reciprocal action, that is, God forgives us only as we forgive others. That sounds like a real principle to me and if we are interested in “salvation” we should have some idea of what forgiveness is and is not. There is a forgiving of self that must be understood properly but today I am concerned with the forgiving of others.

Letting people do wrong and not holding them accountable is not forgiveness. That is enabling. But the ability to hold another accountable without anger or resentment is a good example of forgiveness. The ability to see another, at each meeting, with new eyes, with fresh eyes free of yesterdays remembrance of wrong done, is getting very close to the goal of forgiving others.

Resentment, which means “to feel again”, is to have the same negative feelings today toward another as you did yesterday. Here are some examples of resentment based feelings that can be carried forward in unforgiveness: annoyance, antagonism, bitterness, cynicism, displeasure, dislike, exasperation, fury, grudge, hate, hostility, hurt, ill feeling, ill will, indignation, ire, irritation, malice, outrage, perturbation, rage, spite, umbrage, vexation and wrath.

One of the problems with employing negative emotions is that at any time the person we are employing them against can realize his error and repent of it without us ever knowing it. If a soul has repented and we continue to view them in our mind with yesterdays eyes we will be guilty of judging them most unfairly. We may never know that a prisoner in jail has repented, for example. but love waits and hopes for repentance without anger or resentment. Love is ever ready to reconcile with those who previously did wrong but have repented of it.

There is also, of course, a fine line between discernment and judgment. Discernment sees wrong rightly but minus negative, judgemental emotion. We have been warned to "judge not" or risk judgment upon ourselves. Upset, anger and hatred are judgemental emotions and the measure we use to judge others with will be the measure used to judge us. If we judge angrily another as unworthy, we will become unworthy ourselves. Salvation means being saved from something and in this case forgiveness implies being made free of judging our neighbor. It is far better to mediate and learn to separate our soul from negative, destructive emotion rather than to go to our grave controlled by negative emotion and thinking towards others.

Is Culture A Curse?

2008-01-29T08:41:00.000-05:00

Soon after we are born there comes a time when we first realize that we exist. Many of us have forgotten this seminal moment but it happened nonetheless. In that moment we were pure “watcher”. We looked out from behind our eyes into a strange world we suddenly found ourselves in and “wondered” about it all. We wondered who we were, wondered where we were and wondered what it all meant. We, at that moment were pure, unadulterated consciousness. Our culture had yet to teach us words, concepts or beliefs about anything. We were the ultimate “watcher” and natural born “wonderer”.

If we were raised in the perfect environment, one in which we were not pressured from the outside in anyway to have our being, we would have unfolded completely from the inside. We would “watch” and learn from the inside, growing by intuitive understanding to be exactly what we were created to be.

But alas, we do not come into a perfect world, we come into a world that immediately begins to pressure us to conform from the outside. We are almost immediately subject to the thinking and behavioral messages of our parents, who were indoctrinated by culture before us. We are exposed to the greater environmental pressures of our culture to conform to the norms and values it holds dear.

To illustrate this point let me use the infant child who has just awoke to his existence but has yet to “indoctrinated” by his culture. If he is raised in an Italian-American home he will become an Italian-American, taking and embracing his Italian heritage and gain his identity by thinking, doing and eating the Italian-American way. But if that same child were stolen and taken to be raised by Pygmies, he would take and embrace the Pygmy heritage and identify himself as a Pygmy. If he were raised in a Palestinian home he would probably become a suicide bomber. If Swedish, he would identify himself as a Swede and be and do the Swedish way. Can you see the point I am making?

Few of us ever question our heritage. We cling to it as the ground of our being. It gives us our identity and we will defend our culture to the death. But what if it were true that our cultural identity has its being at the expense of who we really were? What if it were true that our cultural heritage comes upon the extinguishing of our existence as the “watcher”?...of extinguishing inner unfoldment?

In this light the words of a very wise man who said “except a man die and be born again he can not enter into the kingdom of heaven” has interesting implications. Could this mean that the man who dies to his imposed culture, and finds an existence independent of culture, becomes “born again” as he returns to his original “watcher” status as he was a little child? The same wise man said unless we "become as little children again” we can not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Is not the mind the earthly meeting place of heaven and hell on earth? Is not the mind dominated first and foremost by our cultural upbringing and learning? Can it be that heaven on earth and cultural hertitage are incompatiable things?

Why New Years Resolutions Fail

2008-01-25T10:04:00.000-05:00

The gym is less crowded now. It's amazing how packed it got just after the new year when all the couch potatoes made their resolutions to get fit and into shape. The place was teeming with folks with their new work-out clothes, water bottles and good intentions, but alas, most are nowhere to be seen after a few short weeks.

Why is it that resolutions always seem to fail? Why do good intentions fall by the wayside? The man reason is that most people make decisions based upon emotion or emotional reaction, and we all know how fickle and changeable emotions can be. Perhaps they looked in the mirror and hated what they saw. Perhaps a little kid made an innocent comment, like the 3 year old in the hot tub with his dad yesterday. When a very fat lady showed up to take a dip he couldn't take his eyes off her, shocked as he was by her large size in such a small bathing suit. The young man was so appalled by what he saw that he insisted, ordered, out loud, that his dad look away to the right and not look back to the left, where the fat lady was. He was trying to save his dad from having to view something un-pretty. As innocent as he was, I'm sure the lady felt quite embarrassed, if not totally offended by the little guys reaction to her. But alas, out of the mouth of babes come unvarnished truth.

But the problem with emotion and emotional reaction is that feelings never stay the same. They can change from one day to the next or from one moment to the next. You may feel like a chocolate ice-cream sundae one minute, but after eating one you will not likely feel the same way you did before you ate it. You may look in the mirror, see growing cellulite on your hips, fear you are losing your youth and looks, and swear off bon-bons. But then comes a counter feeling, a hankering, a craving, a few days later that won't be satisfied until it eats those delicious chocolaty delights and bingo, how you felt just a few days before is so over-powered with the craving for bob-bons today. As so it goes when we are controlled by how we think and feel.

So how do we gain control over our emotions and feelings? How do we find true mental discipline?

Proper meditation, wherein we grow objective to our thoughts and feelings, is the only way to develop control over thought and feeling. Objectivity means standing back and apart from them. This distance is the key to developing control over our mental processes. The ability to do what you know is right in your heart, and the ability to say no to what you know is not right comes from first learning to sit still and quietly watching your mind. Continued practice is your growing mastery over thinking and feeling, and the ability to say yes or no and mean it.

The Fine Line Between Meditation and Hypnosis

2008-01-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

There is a fine line between hypnosis and meditation. While meditation is intended to lead us to full awareness of the present moment where Reality lives...hypnosis does just the opposite. It puts us asleep to the present moment. Allow me to illustrate the point.

Let us imagine a prisoner in solitary confinement. There is a small concrete room devoid of anything at all except a built in iron bed and a small barred window through which sunlight pours into the cell. The prisoner sits on the floor and looks at the ray of sunlight in front of him. Within the sun ray he sees a speck of dust floating lazily up and down on the heat waves of the sunlight, almost as if defying gravity.

At this point the prisoner can do one of two things. He can quietly observe the floating piece of dust as just another part of his momentary experience in his prison cell, within the cell block, within the prison or...he can fixate on the piece of dust unto forgetfulness of his surroundings. One way he remains in the cell, with awareness of the present and all that is going on around him. The other way induces a forgetfulness of who he is and where he is...escaping his cell mentally by fixation upon the dancing dust particle.

So what is so important about being in the present moment? And what is so bad about escaping the reality of the present moment?

Suppose for a moment that you are a mother of a three year old. And let us suppose you like to watch your afternoon soap operas on TV. Is it so difficult to see that with your attention divided, or lost into the TV that it could pose a danger to your three year old? Is it difficult to see that being lost into the fantasty playing out of the TV screen could easily become an opportunity for your three year old to find some pills in your purse, or some poisonous cleaner under your kitchen sink withut you realizing it? With your attention hynotically fixed away from the present moment where your child is he could swallow some pills thinking them candy, or ingest some poisonous liquid making him sick or worse...a lot worse.

Maintaining awareness of the present moment, being conscious of everything going on around you moment by ever present moment is your personal safety, and the safety of those that depend upon you. Hypnotically getting lost into distraction from the present moment puts you, and those dependent upon you, in potential danger of things sneaking up and taking your by surprise, sometimes with deadly consequences.

Beyond Thinking - The Power of Wonder

2008-01-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

All voice-thoughts should be disregarded as teachers and guides to be followed. Beyond the voice-thoughts, there are other things that can go on in a mind. There is a wordless world within and "wondering" is an example of a word-less thing.

I know that when questions arise in my mind...whenever I wonder about or question something I just heard or observed...it is a wordless thing. It is the same kind of experience I first had as that 8 month old baby standing in his crib looking out into the world for the first time, wondering about it all, but without a single word in his head (I didn't know any yet), pondering his existence and this place he found himself in for the first time.

Wondering or pondering asks wordlessly, and does not lose itself in intellectual exercise to find the answer. It does not lose itself in analysis, mental debate or any other brute intellectual exercise to come up with the answer. The wondering mind knows that it does not know and does not mind not knowing. It does not mind leaving things as an open question, for it knows that the answer, if it is to come, will come in it's own time and in it's own way. It is a way of simple Faith.

For example, when I heard that an older, wiser friend got into a car accident recently, the first thing that "occurred" in my mind was to wonder "how can a man who is so conscious and not lost in his thoughts drive so un-mindfully?" It is still an open question. But I do not mind not knowing the explanation just now though I strongly suspect, based upon past experience, that one day I will come understand it.

Another example, one day while reading somewhere, I pondered the idea that God sent Jesus to be Savior of the world. In a flash I realized that although I know all about this concept intellectually, in reality I had no idea what it meant in practical terms. Who was Jesus really and what exactly was His role here on earth? Why did He have to come? What would happen if He didn't? How exactly does He save? I knew that I did not know and raised the question to the Father saying "Father, I do not know what the role of Jesus on earth is all about, if you want me to know then you will have to teach me about Him" and immediately let it go, leaving it as an open question, and leaving it up to Him to teach me. He has since done so, and continues to do so.

Wondering is a magnificently powerful tool. It is a tool far superior to relying upon, or applying brute intellectual exercise to a problem to come up with an answer or solution. In my experience, pondering sometimes works hand in hand with the imagination in ways that the purely intellectual pursuit can not.

For example, when I am sometimes tasked with a big job I can, in a flash in my imagination, see the whole job from beginning to end: what it will take to do the job, how it will be accomplished, what problems there might be and the solutions to those problems...all wordlessly played out in my mind. I then relax and give the job not another thought because it is already completed in my mind and I do not have to think it again until the day it needs to be accomplished.

I remember a story I read in the magazine Iconoclast years ago telling how the inventor of a certain combustion engine (I forget his name) designed it and let it run full throttle for 8 hours and then returned to examined it for it's weaknesses...all in his imagination. In this way he was able to work out the bugs before physically building the real engine. Such things are possible.

The mind is meant to ponder and wonder, to bring forth and to create good things on the earth. But it will never do much of anything truly meaningful or truly good as long as it is trapped in, and functions from, the stream of voice-thoughts in the head, where most, unfortunately, live. All the truly good things are found outside the endless stream of word thoughts, analysis, chatter and babble in the mind. Meditation done properly leads to this place.

The Ever Present Moment

2008-01-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

Man: "There is no "present moment" except in the illusion presented to us by the human mind."

Me: Try sitting alone in a room quietly becoming aware of your body and your breathing. Become also aware of your mind and the thougths that are there. Become aware now of the room you are in, aware of whatever sounds are in the room; the refrigerator humming, the furnace running, the clock ticking, what ever sounds are in the room, become aware of them. While still being aware of your body, the noises within it, your breathing, your mind and the thoughts that are there, and being aware of the room you are in and the noises in it, become now aware also of the noises outside the room; cars driving by, playground noises, a fire engine in the distant, a plane flying overhead, whatever the noises are there, become aware of these as well.

When you are aware of all these things; your body, your mind, the room you are in and the things outside the room, you are in the present moment. You are here and now in the ever present moment.

But the problem is that most can not stay in the present moment for very long before getting sucked up into the dream stuff of thinking, forgetting to be aware of the present moment. Sitting still is something that most avoid like the plague, it's too scary or painful. Most flee from it into distraction from it.

Escaping from reality, from the present moment, can be anything that helps us forget to remember to be in the present moment. Distraction helps us forget to be aware of our body, our mind and thoughts, of being aware that we are in a room and that the room is in the world surrounding it. Anything can be employed to distract us from the reality of the here and now. Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll can do it. Books, movies, music can do it. Relationships of all kinds can do it. Staring at and fixating upon a speck of dust can do it. Almost anything can be employed to help us retreat from awareness of the present back into our thought-stream and lose awareness of the present moment.

Most human beings will never find the still small voice within that comes from learning to sit still quietly in a room, stilling the mind and learning to cultivate communion with Reality. Many will never discover the incredible existence that comes into being if they would learn to detach from their thoughts and from all the distractions from the Present Moment. Many are too afraid of the initial pain that detachment from their dream world brings and will never go on to discover what is on the other side of that initial pain; a marvelous world of blessings and abundance.

No Decision Necessary

2008-01-13T11:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a little example of how simply watching our thoughts objectively can guide us into right action without the intellect being involved.

Earlier today I was out and about doing my day. At a certain point a thought came to mind that said "Hey, a toasted sesame bagel and smoked salmon cream cheese would be very tasty right now, eh?" and another said "Yeah, it would be, OK then, lets find a Dunkin Donuts and do it! And yet another came and said "But we are on a diet and getting fit, maybe we shouldn't" And another said" Yeah, but we are well under our daily calorie limit, so it will be OK"

Now all the while this dialogue was happening I was standing back observing it play out in my mind and at the same time I brought my attention down to my stomach and "saw" that I wasn't even close to being hungry, that I didn't need any food and "knew" that the whole idea of a bagel right then wasn't right or for good reason. I didn't have to decide a thing, I could "see" that it was a wrong idea and dismissed it. No effort, no agonizing, no decision. I moved on.

Decision-making is evidence of a prideful ego. Buying underwear, for example, can indeed be a prideful thing. If you are into keeping up with the designer craze and need to feel "cool" or "hip" by what you wear, or if you are into displaying sexiness or into body identification, it will definitely be an ego thing.

But simply "seeing" what you need and then making a common sense choice about it is really no choice at all when seen in this light. For example, you may have a business and you "see" that you need to hire an employee. You "see" that you have to place an ad out there. You "see" that you will have to conduct interviews. You conduct those interviews to "see" who the best person to fill the bill will be.

Buying underwear is no different. You "see" that you need to buy them, so you go to the store to "see" what is the best purchase to make. No decision's necessary. If it becomes a decision it will be a "choice" made by pride. It should require no decision at all because it should be as plain as day what you should do. When you stand back from deciding you will simply "see" what to do next.

You are either in your head, lost in the thought world within or you are out of it. You either are guided by your inferior, prideful intellect, which thrives on decision-making or you simply "see" what is the best thing to do in everything.

A Relationship with Reality

2008-01-07T11:04:00.000-05:00

A god is something that fulfils us. A god gives us a sense of identity and worth...of belonging. A god is something that fills a vacuum of emptiness we feel without it. A god can be anything we "worship" for it's blessings in return...another person, a drink or a joint can do it, and so can a myriad of other "relationships" we might engage in. Whatever the relationship we use to fill our void, to give us a sense of worth or belonging, we partake of it, and it gives to us those feelings in return.

A god can give us pain, yes, like the pain of conscience we have when we know we did something we shouldn't have, like steal what does not belong to us or lose our patience with someone smaller or weaker than us. And a god can also cause us pain when we are separated from it. I always hated how I felt when I ran dry of pot or a relationship I was in ended. Those were painful things. But now I am in a growing relationship with something that I can not be separated from. I am growing in relationship with Reality...which is found outside of the thought-stream in my head...which is found by remaining in the present moment instead. It is a relationship, I am discovering, that makes all other subsequent relationships I have proper and right. It shows me the boundaries of relationships I should be in...and it shows which relationship to avoid completely.

Dealing With A Jekyll & Hyde World

2008-01-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

Society is made up mainly of phony, plastic hypocrites. Underneath the polished veneer of respectability hide real ugliness....pettiness, cruelty, impatience, vengefulness, gluttony, selfishness and worse.

The truly bright souls of the world can not bear to be like the phonies he sees around him. It seems more honest to be bad than to be rotten at the core and pretend not to be. Often the prison warden is secretly just as bad as or worst than his prisoners. The respectable psychiatrist is often crazier than his patient.

Yes, often the outcasts from society are the truly bright ones but they have just one problem. They just do not know how to deal properly with what they rightly see. They do not know how to function in a world that rewards phoniness and hypocrisy. They can not conform for the approval of the world, it goes against everything they are, so they rebel, and end up in prison or a mental institution. But make no mistake about it. These ARE the brightest of the world, even as the world trys to put out their brightness by instilling doubt and confusion about what they see.

The only way to survive the wickedness of the world is to know how to find the middle way that neither conforms nor rebels, but stays in the calm center...like the eye of the hurricane that is still and peaceful while all hell is breaking loose around it. Forebear to resent what you see and you will recover yourself. Meditate to find objectivity to your thoughts and feelings and no one will be able to make you doubt yourself or pull your strings ever again.

Love in Cyberspace...Is It Possible?

2008-01-04T09:57:00.000-05:00

Real love is mainly a matter of speaking truly and correcting the wrong in another and less about warm feelings and sex. Love stands up for what is right and does not enable error in another. Love patiently speaks up about the error, without anger or judgement, because it is not outcome based.

The thing is, correcting the wrong in another can be messy, and the correction usually does not take right away. For example, you may speak up to someone addicted to something, but they may not quit right away, if they do quit An angry person may not see his anger right away...an impatient person may not see his impatience for weeks, months or years. But correction on the net, in a chat rrom, on discussion board or via email is like correction in real life. Although it can sometimes take immediately, it usually takes a lot of patience, a willingness to be thought wrong and mean for speaking your piece. and requires the ability to be longsuffering.

I heard someone talking about love recently. They were wondering what love really was. I said that love is patient, it waits without anger, frustration or expectation. Love is being the example of what another should be. It stands in contrast to the wrong in another wordlessly. Love speaks up about the wrong it sees, but then let's go after speaking it. It does get emotionally involved in amothers wrong and it does not fret about it. Love wants the best for another but it never pressures. It makes no emotional investment in the improvement of another's errors. Love speaks up, but at the same time it knows that another has the right to be wrong, if that is what they choose. Therefore, love does not impose nor take personal offense if another does not take it's correction..

Love in ourselves is measured by how well we can take the slings and arrows of others, especially the one we correct, without being moved by thier howls and gnashing of teeth. Only by daring to stand up, to speak up in life, daring to correct the wrongs we see, in real life or on the net, do we get to be tested in our love, to see how deep or superficial our love really is. There is no other way to determine if we have real love or not.

If we are moved to retaliate against another, to return anger for anger, upset for upset, insult for insult, we have no love. But if we willing take these things and bear them without returning them, then we know we are growing in the right direction.

That is the true measure of where we stand in the love department.

Meditation and Rebirth

2007-12-31T10:34:00.000-05:00

We do not meditate for the goal of no thought.

That only happens, I believe, after our mind is wiped clean of old conditioning after salvation is found. Infants and toddlers have minds free of word-thoughts because they do not know any words. Jesus said we can be restored to this state, but this state of mind is usually found only after long spiritual practice.

In the meantime the goal is to become aware of each and every thought that goes on in the mind each and every moment. A lofty but very doable goal. A goal obtainable the minute we start to practice sitting still and watching our thoughts.

Mastery over mental thinking, chatter and distraction that suck away awareness of the present moment takes daily practice. Daily practice then begins to extend our awareness of the moment beyond our formal meditation pratice onward into our whole day. Our awareness of the present moment thus increases and expands into every aspect of our lives.

When we first meditate we find that the thought-stream is powerful and rapid, so strong in fact that we wonder if we will ever be free of it, but as we practice pulling out of the thought stream, we immediately begin to develope the spiritual muscle of "objectvity" to thought, which grows stronger and stronger with use. Just as any other muscle that is exercised grows stronger.

The simple goal of meditation then is to become aware of whatever thought or distraction grabs our attention away from awareness of the present moment, For when we are looking at thought or distraction, we are, by default, separated from it, and back in the moment again where Reality lives. In this way we steadily grow in our relationship with Reality, even as we slowly put to death our conditioned word-thought based existence.

This is the process of being born again.

Marijuana and False Enlightenment

2007-12-28T09:25:00.000-05:00

I smoked pot for many years. I liked pot because it helped me forget what a mess my life was, but I also liked it because of the effect it had on me. Whereas most people would zone out, drift away into la la-land and forgetfulness when they smoked pot, people would say things to me like "you are the only person I know who gets sharper when you get high".

Pot gave me the effect of enlightenment and realization. My thoughts would become crystal clear, extremely vivid and would reveal to me profoundly "spiritual" things. I could see into people with profound clarity and could psycho-analyze them with great precision. People found it mind boggling. A few liked it, but many found it cut to close to reality and stopped being with me when I was high.

The high for me mimicked realization and insight so closely that it had me unable to see the evil spirit behind all this for a very long time.The spirit behind this drug knew that I was born with a proclivity toward truth, had strong perception and it played up on this by revealing to me profound things, showing me true things, keeping me coming back for more. But what IT never revealed to me was that ALL of this was taking place from within my thought world, from within my ego universe where I saw myself as enlightened and certain that what I was seeing was true, because it was.

Can you see how unbelievably subtle this evil was? How terribly confusing this can be? How can right be wrong? Few have any idea how terribly intoxicating and addictive this can be. It would be some time before I realized that IT supported and kept me bonded to the seemingly "good" in my mind that wasn't good at all. In truth I was bonded to an unholy spirit within standing in the place of the Holy.

Little did I know then that my motivation and timing made me all wrong, even as I was technically correct about what I would see and what I would say. Thank God for the pain in other aspects of my life that drove me to meditate, for in meditating I was finally able to see the great lie behind the powerful but wicked "voice of good" within my mind, and find freedom from this terribly addictive bondage.

Taking A Stand Against Wrong People

2007-12-27T22:42:00.000-05:00

There are two ways of dealing with wrong people who come into our sphere of influence. Speak up, take a stand or pretend it doesn't really matter. One way supports what is right and the other way supports the wrong. Most are too cowardly to take a definitive stand anywhere because of the problems it brings...they love their peace and would rather just go along to get along a la Rodney King.

At Christmas my sister in-law told me the story in front of all the relatives of how my three year old grandson had asked her for some candy one day. Everyone had their eyes on me waiting to see my reaction, they already heard the story and must have thought I would think it as funny as they did. But, as her story went, his father had earlier told her that the baby could not have any candy. But the baby insisted, so she said "OK, here, but eat it quickly and don't tell your Dad" She then proceeded to imitate how the baby followed her advice and rapidly chewed the candy and swallowed it. Everyone laughed thinking that that was cute and adorable, everyone except me that is. I remained stone cold silent and unmoved and my silence stopped their laughter, pained the sister in-law, and caused her to become red with embarrassment. Do not under estimate the power to correct behind the right kind of silence at the right time. Teaching a child to go against his father is a very wicked game and my sister in-law will think twice about doing it again.

I am sure I received many silent judgements from others in that moment, but I could care less. I am not a respecter of persons, I am a respecter of what is right. If I am unliked and thought ill of for taking my stands, for being true to who I am, oh well, life is not a popularity contest and I am not hear for the approval of those who think I went to far...or whatever other motives they wish to ascribe to me. My approval comes from my conscience, from being true to myself and that is all the matters to me.

Begging For Approval

2007-12-20T21:17:00.000-05:00

I watched from the corner of my eye yesterday as a man returned some money he found to another. I was in a Senior Citizen Center reading over a newsletter while waiting for a meeting when the scene unfolded not far from me. Seems that one man found some money on the floor by the lobby entrance and put it in his pocket. Later, another man who realized he lost his money came frantically looking around the area for it. The first man observed the second man and deduced that it must have been his money. He asked the second man what he was looking for, to which the frantic one replied "my money, I lost it". The first man then asked how much money did he lose to which the second replied "thirty dollars". The first man puffed up his chest in anticipation of what he was about to do and pulled out thirty dollars from his pocket. He handed it over to the owner saying "Good thing it was me that found it, another might have kept it, huh?" as he glanced around the room looking for any sign of approval for his "good deed" from anyone looking on.

A short time later the person I had a meeting with arrived in the lobby area to meet me. We were exchanging pleasantries when the good samaritan came over to where my counterpart and I were standing and said "Hey Lisa, I did my good deed for the day...." and proceeded to recount the whole story of his good deed while searching both of our eyes for any scrap of approval that might be there. I simply nodded my head to acknowledge that what he did was the right thing but I could not help but to also see that he was not handling his "good deed" very well. As he continued a scripture verse came to my mind.

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven...do not announce it with trumpets...to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, (you will) have received (your) reward in full.

The man's need for my approval, which I knew would be at the expense of God's approval, kept me from feeding his need with anything more than a simple nod of acknowledgement that what he had done was the correct thing. I could say or do nothing more.

The Right To Be Wrong

2007-12-17T22:26:00.000-05:00

People who are blind to, or otherwise unwilling to face up to, their problems should perhaps be pittied, but the most important thing to know is that everyone has the right to be wrong...and when that truth is fully understood it is most liberating. Liberating because it is never our responsibility to make another see their fault. Truth never imposes...therefore it is wise never to become emotionally invested in the waking up of another. That is best left between them and God. But this is not to say we can not or should not speak our truth to another...God forbid...it just means that it should not matter emotionally to us in any way whether they accept or reject the truth we just spoke.